I nearly forgot ...

One last Lanzarote post. The one about the man with the bandaged eyes.

In the heart of Playa Blanca on the sea front is a statue of an anonymous man. 

It's dedicated to all the men and women of the Canaries, ancestors of today's people, who, despite illiteracy in many cases, worked so hard to improve the well-being and lot of their people.

How lovely to see Everyman celebrated.

The one about order and chaos

You know what vineyards look like? Like this one in Italy, right?

Think again. Here's a vineyard in Lanzarote.

The same wonderfully ordered rows but this time the individual vines are grown in holes each with its own wind barrier.

You can't see very well in the photo below but, as in Italy, the hills are covered with the same neat arrangements. 

We spotted a vineyard for sale but as Husband said, 'It would be awfully hard work.'

* * * * * * * *

Unlike the vines I am anything but orderly. Chaos has a habit of following me.

Thus it was no surprise that I walked into a plate glass door nose first. Or that as I turned and stumbled away squeaking in pain I tripped over a table.

A little more surprising that i had a strange effect on the hotel restaurant toaster. I say that rather than saying that I broke it because I don't think it was really broken.

One morning I decided to have scrambled eggs on toast so I popped my bread into the toaster, you know the sort ...

Except the toast coming out of the bottom was rather more tanned than that. I like mine just lightly coloured so I had the brilliant idea of turning down the temperature.

Resulting in warm bread. I turned it up again and had the same result: warm white bread. I was holding up the queue so I hurriedly snook the toast onto my plate and casually wandered away.

As we left the restaurant much later I noticed a woman standing staring in confusion at her warm bread. What could I say? Nothing obviously.

The one about hearts and wind

What is a girl to do when she's sunbathing and wants to keep her face out of the sun?

Rest Husband's hat over it.

But it's windy in the Canaries and in danger of being blown off.

Not if you put a stone on the back of your head.

Other people built squares and cubby holes out of stones. I thought a heart was much better idea.

Our favourite beach, playa majures.

And us as the sun sets over the red volcano.

The one about the Big Head and love locks

There is a promenade that runs from one end (our end) of Playa Blanca to the other end. Along the way we saw:

Freddy's cathouse although we didn't see Freddy;

a community of inuksuks, presided over by a Big Head;

(please tell me you - unlike Husband - can see the head)

an opportunity to keep fit - but not for long;

and no end of love locks.
On the way back through the marina we stopped for ice cream. For me not Husband as he resolutely refused it. He foolishly thought he knew best the way to the ice cream shop. I had to remind me that when it comes to ice cream I have a built-in sensor.

The one about the volcano and Raquel Welch

Lanzarote was created by volcanic eruptions at least 30 million years ago. The main volcanic area is a national park and the only way around it is by bus trip so my photos were taken through glass. That's my excuse for the poor quality.

 This very large crater (below) is almost barren. The temperature drops 20 degrees from day to night and very few life forms can survive such drastic changes.

The last volcanic eruptions happened in the 19th century and lasted for six years. Much of the island is very inhospitable lava field and the cliffs are weirdly eroded leading to some hollows and holes. I didn't get any dramatic photos from the holes as the tide was too gentle but did capture a good splash.

Lava field in front of a volcano

One of the most famous sights in Lanzarote is the green lagoon at El Golfo. It is worthy of fame on its own account but has the added attraction of being the site where Raquel Welch wandered around in a leather bikini in One Million Years BC.

The colour of the water derives from the microscopic algae living in the lagoon.

On the way back down the mountains we stopped to watch the camels. 

There were a lot of them but we didn't take a ride. I had this feeling that Younger Son and Nuora would probably not approve. And the camels just looked so bored and fed up.

The one about the hotel and the university don

We stayed in the 5* Hotel Volcan, which is on the eastern end of Playa Blanca, just near Marina Rubicon. It is spread out, as you can see in this photo, from just to the left of the 'volcano' as you look at it, to the right end, where our room was. It took us about three days to work out the quickest route to the restaurant/pool. Well, to work out any route really.

To get to reception you had to go through this cavernous hall, the idea of a cathedral emphasised by the  churchy music they played. 

I could quite easily have sat here for ages listening to Gregorian chants.

Somehow I managed to change the camera settings unintentionally for this photo of the exterior. The 'volcano' had string lighting coming down the sides, to resemble lava I suppose, but we were never out late enough to see it lit up!

The pool was large and there weren't a huge number of sunbeds but always enough (in spite of the many Germans staying at the hotel with their allegedly notorious habits of baggsying beds). Here's my very brown Adonis emerging.

One or rather two of the guests caught my attention. Two men, they were always at breakfast and dinner and quite often sitting outside at a table while the older man smoked. we never saw the older man without his slacks and blazer.

We - or perhaps I - guessed they were father and son, as they looked similar except the younger man had longer curly hair and didn't wear a blazer. but always a shirt. We - or again I - wondered if the older man might be a university don; he had that sort of look about him. Either that or he was a detective investigating a case along with his sidekick. (I've see Morse in Spain.)

Whatever it seemed very strange to go to Lanzarote and dress like that. I assume they never sunbathed or went to the beach and while there are some other attractions I wouldn't have thought they would warrant a week there. I should have gone up and said, 'Excuse me, I'm doing research for the tourist industry. Would you mind telling me the purpose of your visit to Lanzarote?' 

Next time I'll do that.

P.S. Do you like my drawing? there's more to follow ...!

boring holiday photos

I don't want to be boring ... but I do want to keep a record of our holiday so I'll post selected pics in stages, not necessarily chronologically.

For first time blog visitors, Husband and I have just returned from a week in Lanzarote, which is one of the Spanish Canary Islands, in the Atlantic off the coast of Africa. The idea was to get some rest and relaxation after a very hectic few months. And to eat too much. 

The weather was good, cloudy most mornings but the sun soon burned it off. Not too too hot and not humid. 

So read on. Or if you are bored by other people's holiday photos, feel free to ignore.

Am I missing something here?

Our hotel was in the posh end of town. It was so posh it even had a Pillow Menu.

Admittedly it didn't tell you how to get one of these pillows (or how much it would cost) but I was intrigued when I read it.

First of all I was pleased to see that the Paris classical pillow had been especially developed for resting.

Yes, I'd have thought that all pillows ideally would be made for restful sleep but, hey, perhaps this was especially somnifacient. (My spellcheck doesn't recognise that as a word but it is, I promise you. It means, according to Mr Chambers, sleep-inducing.)

But what really puzzled me was the Horseshoe pillow designed to protect your cervical vertebrae.

I don't know if it's a mis-translation or if I am particularly ignorant, or even if it were intended for use under one's bottom.

Ah, having my dictionary to hand I checked the meaning and I am amazed - at my own ignorance and the fact - that cervix is the technical name for the back of the neck. Well,blow me down with a damp lettuce leaf.

It also refers to a necklike narrowing of an organ e.g. the uterus.

More holiday stuff to follow. Proper holiday stuff I mean.