Sunday, January 16, 2022

Is Tom Hardy a Jew?

Muttering to myself this morning I uttered the immortal phrase, 'Fair dinkum.' 

Fair dinkum?! Where did that come from? 

My brain works are a mystery to me.

On Tuesday in bible study - we're back on zoom for a while - one man was present but unseen. No, not Jesus. I mean there were three in the room but the phone screen only showed two so all we had was his voice. Someone said it was like he was a narrator.

From there my brain took this route:
a narrator telling us bedtime stories like Tom Hardy on Jackanory;
Tom Hardy was in Peaky Blinders;
he played a Jew;
in his book David Baddiel comments on the practice of letting non-Jews play Jews;
I keep meaning to find out if Tom Hardy is a Jew.

This is all in the blink of an eye of course. I made the mistake of telling the others who now know the truth about my brain. 

P.S. He's not. And here's an interesting article in the Jewish Chronicle about why he was the best for the job.


Saturday, January 15, 2022

Almost all about books

Jews Don't Count by David Baddiel

I'd read a lot of comments about this book so decided to borrow it from the library. It's more of a long essay than a book and is in a series published by The Times Literary supplement. 

David Baddiel is a comedian, albeit a very intellectual one; the fact that he is a Jew hadn't registered with me. Anyway, the book explains his theory that Jews don't count i.e. that in the racism field, anti-Semitism is not really as bad as the other prejudices. It's an interesting premise especially as his complaints are aimed mainly at progressives - the ones who would normally fight every sort of -ism.

It made me think, agree that I am as guilty, but still not totally convinced by his arguments, some of which seem a bit weak - although I'm not sure if I dare say that about someone whose intellect could swallow mine and not even notice the gulp. I'm sure he could out-argue me and explain why I'm wrong. 

But worth reading if only to discover that Stephen Fry is a Jew. 


Shuggie Bain
by Douglas Stuart

This one of the other books I ordered from the library. The 2020 Booker Prize winner is undoubtedly brilliantly written, and all the other things that are said about it, but it's too bleak to read at bedtime. I read a few chapters the first night but that's it. No more for me.




The Adventures of Little Mouse
by Granny

Yes, I finished the book I was writing for GrandSon4, it's illustrated (by me and GrandDaughter2), and it's available on Amazon. I've published it simply so Younger Son can buy it on Amazon Italy to avoid taxes if I sent it to him. What measures we have to resort to thanks to Brexit.



Speaking of which, are you following the antics of the man who claims to be the leader of this country? Currently, apparently, he's launched Operation Save Big Dog - the name he came up with himself - and he's looking for volunteers to take the blame for, probably everything.

He could yet get away with it. 

The BBC interviewed people in Leeds just after their Prime Minister had admitted being at an illegal gathering during lockdown - when people were unable to be with their dying loved ones. 

One woman tells us an apology from the prime minister should be enough. "For all he does I still like Boris," she says.

A man at a market stall says he would vote for Johnson in the next general election. "At the end of the day I think the man's done a good job."

I could cry.

Tuesday, January 11, 2022

How cool am I?

Mini is in car hospital. You may recall that I scraped her - just a little bit - a few months ago, so she's in being made good as new. In the meantime I have to drive Alfie Porsche.

It's not something I often want to do as the rear view mirror fell off years ago and there is no adhesive in the world that will make it stay on again. So I have to use the wing mirrors which are set for Husband, and as a little short-legs I have to pull my seat very close to the steering wheel, meaning if I want to look in the side mirrors I have to lean over.

Also I have to get used to the fact that where 6th gear is on Mini is reverse gear on Alfie. Not that I go that fast that often.

But once I'm settled in I go right into, 'How cool am I driving a Porsche?' mode. The fact it's very old, a bit rusty, and has a tape cassette player, is irrelevant. It's a Porsche! I'm driving it!

Alfie's also about three miles wider than Mini so I have to take even more care.

Monday, January 10, 2022

If the Duchess can do it so can I

Seeing the online features on the Duchess of Cambridge's changing style through the years - she's been on show a lot because it's her fortieth birthday - I thought I'd do a similar run-through. So here goes.
60s, grumpy teenager (left) with trendier cousin - I had big boobs even then


70s, just after student days


80s, mistook becoming a mother for becoming a granny

Used 90s to transform into 00s glamorous mother of the groom!

10s (?), in my natural habitat



20s, no matter what I wear I'm always a granny - and usually with dog biscuits in my pocket too.


I like to think I've grown into myself. I'm not always happy with who I am but overall I'm in a better place.




Sunday, January 09, 2022

I'm not really a little teapot

Oh my golly gosh! It had to be this week I make a mistake!

As you may know I record a weekly talk to be broadcast on a local Christian radio station a couple of times a week, the first time being about now, 8.35, on the Sunday evening. I record about twelve minutes of talking and Bramwell the producer edits it and fits in songs to make it a thirty-minute show. So far so good.

This week I sent off my talk and was surprised I hadn't had an email from him thanking me, as usual, but thought no more of it. I just finished watching a programme on television and came in to the study for a final puta play before bed, realised I'd be on live, and tuned into the radio station halfway through my talk.

I thought it was strange that there didn't seem to be any musical interludes and that the show finished quarter of an hour early but as I was looking for a photo in my old albums at the time I let it carry on playing. Next thing I hear is a gibber-gibber-gibber followed by me singing, 'I'm a little teapot'. 

I wonder for a moment if I've slipped into an alternate universe.

Then I put two and  two together and come up with, 'Oh my golly gosh!'

When I'm recording my talk I take care - usually - to edit out all the mistakes, and the bit at the beginning where I test that it's working. For some reason beyond my comprehension the very first bit of recording, where I usually say, 'Testing, testing, one two, three,' always plays back at fast speed. I start recording again and it's back to normal. I make no changes in between and don't do anything different; I have accepted it as a little quirk I have to live with.

Usually when I start recording again I repeat my testing mantra, but this week for some strange reason I sang, 'I'm a little teapot.' And, when editing, forgot to delete the bit at the beginning!

Normally that wouldn't be a problem as Bramwell, as I say, does his own editing. But the radio station is a one or two man affair and I'd noticed last week there were some changes to schedule so I'm guessing Bramwell might be off sick. It would explain the lack of acknowledgment email too. 

So the solution whoever is now looking after the station schedule came up with was to repeat my talk as it was sent in. So listeners were subjected not once but twice to me singing, 'I'm a little teapot.'

And this is the photo I was looking for:

1985 - the dress was a bad choice too



Wrong!

So the clue was 'Bob, eg'. My answer, obvious to anyone who has children/grandchildren, was Builder.

The correct answer was haircut.

Pah!

* * * * * * 

So I spent yesterday afternoon and this morning trying to create a book for GrandSon4. Did I mention - yes, I did - I came up with the idea, and began writing it, while standing in the queue for my booster?

And now I remember that writing the book is the easy bit.

Don't get me wrong: it's not that hard to get a book printed by Amazon - the instructions are reasonably clear; it's just I seem to end up with loads of different versions in my effort to get what is required, and then can't remember a) where I've stored them, and b) what I called them.

So it's definitely user fault rather than technology.

However ... when I was downloading a template to create my cover the information needed included the question 'Page Turn Direction'.

A simple question? I thought so. Obviously right to left. 

Wrong. Left to right.

Is it me? Have I been turning pages wrongly all these years? 


Saturday, January 08, 2022

Those were the days my friend

A friend asked on Facebook where it was possible to see tents on display. Her friend replied, 'They used to do it in this shop, but it's closed now.'

That reminded me of my habit of using old landmarks to direct people. 'It's where the swimming baths used to be,' or, 'You turn where the shoe shop was.' The fact that the person I'm directing or explaining to is too young to remember the swimming baths, or comes from elsewhere and has no reason to know where the shoe shop was, is irrelevant. I know where I mean!

Another friend posted this meme:


In response I posted this:

Me mid-70s, long hair and bell-bottoms

What about you? You want to post your photo? I'd love to see them.

Friday, January 07, 2022

Retching

Feeling very slightly ropey so did a test just in case. I am certain it will be negative but must try and be a good citizen - in spite of the example set by politicians. Pah humbug.

The fact that I am retching before I have even opened my mouth doesn't help my technique. 'Don't let the swab touch your tongue or teeth or gums.' Seriously? They think my tongue is under anyone's control? How do you keep it out of the way?


Now I think I will reward myself - for having written my next article for The Bay as well as enduring a test - by sitting down with a cup of tea and reading. My current read, one I had for Christmas, is Ellie and the Harpmaker, by Hazel Prior who also wrote Away with the Penguins, which I loved.

I am struggling to lay it aside at night - which could explain my headache today. Well, that and the stress of my dream where I was struggling to get a restaurant ready and didn't know where to put anything or where anything was.

Assuming my test is negative I will pop to the library tomorrow to pick up two books I've ordered: Jews Don't Count by David Baddiel, and Shuggie Bain by Douglas Stuart. I've had an email saying they're ready. Also had an email saying my Monday morning exercise class isn't starting again until the end of January (probably) for social distancing reasons. Thankfully I've eaten just about everything I bought 'for Christmas' but I could do with some more exercise, otherwise George and I will both turn into little puddings waddling down the road. (George expects a treat every time he has eye drops put in.) (Which reminds me: he's due for some.)

What's the wordle?

Yesterday I went through the 'these pieces definitely don't fit anywhere in this jigsaw' phase. Today I tried again and, what do you know, they do belong.

I decided to work on it this morning in natural daylight but the clouds came over and I had to use my 'sunlight' lamp anyway. Still done now, and a very well made jigsaw it was. None of the 'does it fit here or not?' quandaries. Everything fitted perfectly.

Then, while drinking my tea I noticed a Facebook friend was doing Wordle. I've seen these strange little coloured square things on lots of posts and not had a clue what it was supposed to be. Anyway I clicked on her link and - having googled 'How to play Wordle' - I had a go.

Wordle 202 4/6

⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨
🟩⬜🟩⬜⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

I think this is good for a first attempt. But the very good thing about it is that you can only play once every 24 hours.

Have you played it?