How not to lead a bible study

So, as I was saying, I led the bible study in Zac's last night. (God answered my prayer and Gerry was reasonably quiet throughout.)

We continued looking at Acts and it was okay. I had 'the boys' behind me to chip in when I got stuck and, afterwards, lots of people said I'd done well. But they're nice people so they would, wouldn't they? But I don't know.

Things I got wrong:

I didn't thank people for reading - and I'd given lots of people extra verses to read;

I had prepared but hadn't been over it enough times so didn't feel confident and my lack of confidence showed;

one of the verses I'd given out to be read was completely the wrong one so that threw me as I didn't have my notes with the right verse on it;

my praying was stuttery and hesitant.

As I said, it went okay, but I need to learn from my mistakes.

If you're pray-ers, please remember these people:

J, wife of a Zac's person, had an operation today to remove a brain tumour;

A, a Zaccer, who's had his leg amputated;

M, an ex-Zaccer, who's waiting to find out if he's been infected with HIV.

Jesus not only wept he LOL too

Last Sunday I led the service in prison. Ric and Nigel from Zac's did most of the work (Ric the music and Nigel the talky bit) and they were brill so my bit was easy. Then last night I led the bible study in Zac's as Sean was away (more later).

So what I'm thinking is how did that happen?

I don't get to lead anything in Linden. I'm not in ... I was going to say the 'in crowd' but that's not fair so I'll say among 'the wise ones'. Nobody thinks of me if they need a speaker or good advice or sound theological knowledge; they only come to me if they want a twit. Which is fine as, after all, Paul said, '... he gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, some to be pastors and teachers and some to be twits.'

(Editor's note: you may not find that in your bible as it's only in the very earliest scrolls and the last section was dropped when the early church fathers were deciding which bits were going to be in the bible.)

After all we are made in God's image and we laugh a lot so he must so therefore he would have decreed the need for twits. But those boring old early church fathers took out all the obvious humour deeming it inappropriate. They left in the verse 'Jesus wept' but deleted the verse 'Jesus LOL when Peter told him about the rabbi, the vicar and David Beckham.'

And now I seem to have lost the thread of this post. I can't remember what the point was. If there was one.

I have done some silly things in my life

I picked up my prescription for my happy pill last week and instead of taking it straight to the chemist I left it lying it around for ages. I did almost go to the chemist once but then couldn't park.

So, this afternoon, as I've run out of pills I really needed to get organised. And, of course, I couldn't find my prescription.

After much hunting and muttering I phoned to ask for a repeat repeat prescription.

'Because of the nature of your prescription you must report it to the police and then come back to us with an incident number before we can re-issue it.'

Nice police lady: where did you lose it to?

Me (biting my tongue to avoid saying if I knew where I'd lost it it wouldn't be lost): I might have posted it with some letters by mistake.

I have done some silly things in my life ...

P.S. On the plus side, while emptying my handbag in my search I came across a chocolate bar. Out of bad comes good.

There's no logic to it

I've had a terrible two weeks eating wise. What with my birthday, GrandDaughter's birthday, eating out, party food and Maltesers, my diet has gone to pot.

So how come I've lost 2 lbs and got Slimmer of the Week?!

It's beyond me. I can only assume it's the fact that I've hardly sat down at all for the last two weeks.

Taking this to its logical conclusion by the time Christmas has been and gone I should be waif-like.

I'm celebrating by eating fry-up for lunch. With cheese. Real cheese not Laughing Cow Extra Light.

Happy 1st birthday, GrandDaughter!

We love you so very much!

Before you were born we were happy: we had good health, a lovely home, a wonderful family, each other. Then you were born.

You are the chocolate flake in the ice cream, the refreshing breeze on a hot summer's day, the first violet of Spring on a cliff walk. You make life better than I would have believed possible.

Thank you, GrandDaughter, for the joy you brought with you!

We look forward to the years ahead with anticipation and delight.

May God bless you as he's blessed us with you.

Party games

Probably enjoyed more by the grown-ups than by the birthday girl herself!

A proper party tea with a jungle theme.

The week until Saturday

So ... on Wednesday we drove through torrential rain down to Devon where the sun came out so we could have a lovely walk in Killerton with Holly and GrandDaugher, whose pushchair is a three-wheeled one made for rugged terrain. But not for inches-deep mud. I had to concede defeat in places and hand over pushing duties to Husband (who was a bath of sweat by the time we finished our walk). There are some interesting little touches around the Killerton estate including this harp tree. If you look closely you'll see the strings.
On Thursday we decided to play it safe and restrict our walk to the quiet lanes surrounding the village. In the centre of the village is an old house that has been in the renovating stage for about two years. They must have been thatching it for at least one year but they're finally getting to the end and finishing it off with the familiar criss cross pattern. (Familiar to jigsaw-doers anyway.)
Thursday evening we drove home ready to prepare for our visitors.

The next day I got home from work early afternoon to find Elder Son and Daughter-in-law had already arrived - and I hadn't been home long before Daughter, Son-in-law, GrandDaughter, Holly Dog and Charlie Cat all arrived too. So that put paid to the last-minute cleaning I was planning on doing. Shame.

Friday evening I watched the first half of the Wales versus Fiji game before I gave up in disgust and helped Daughter prepare party food instead. (End result, a pathetic draw leading me to say out loud the unthinkable: maybe I'll start supporting England instead. Don't worry, I'll have got over it by Saturday when Wales take on - and beat!!!! - the All Blacks! It's not impossible. Unlikely yes but impossible, no. No, it's not. No, definitely not impossible ... big big sigh.)

Then Saturday morning I'd booked us in for a photo session. One of the young men from church is setting himself up as a photographer and this was his first weekend in a studio and I'd booked his first appointment.

Of course, what I should have done before getting everyone up early and out was to check exactly where the studio was.

The fact that the location I took us to was actually about 20 minutes in the opposite direction of the studio didn't endear me to people. We finally got to the studio an hour late ...

But we all relaxed then, the photographer put us at ease, we had a great session and I'm longing to see the end results. Which must be better than the photos I took of GrandDaughter at her party.

Where am I? Oh, yes, Saturday ... I'll start a new post I think before you get too bored.

Birthday food

So much to report since I last blogged but let's start with the important stuff: cakes.

All the family are home for the weekend to celebrate GrandDaughter's first birthday - which is actually on Tuesday but she's having a prolonged celebration.

First of all the cake for the grown-ups: Malteser cheesecake.
Then the birthday cake decorated by Daughter for the jungle-themed party.And the candles I bought. Special exploding candles. I asked the lady in the shop if there were special holders I needed to put them in. She looked at me and the candles I had in my hand. She took the candles from me, turned them the other way up and said, 'You stick the pointy end in the cake.'

'Oh. I thought that was the bit you lit.'

It was an easy mistake to make, wasn't it?

When I got home I told Younger Son and Son-in-law that I might have made a fool of myself in the shop. As one man they said, 'What? You? Surely not?'

I'm pretty sure they weren't being sarcastic ...

The candle looked very pretty anyway.

A ring on her finger

I can't believe William gave Kate his mother's engagement ring. There's so much history to it not to mention bad memories. And a girl wants her own ring, doesn't she?

Not to mention that it wasn't even attractive when Diana had it.

Nobody else's granny

Remember I said that someone else's granny was going to be looking after GrandDaughter? Well, she's not.

Husband and I are going to go to Devon most weeks, as required, for a couple of days to child-mind so Daughter can get on with her freelance copywriting work. Yay!

At least we're going to give it a try and see if it works or see if Daughter and Son-in-law get fed up of the sight of us.

So tomorrow we go and we come back on Thursday evening. Then on Friday all the family come home ready for GrandDaughter's first birthday party, which is being held here on Saturday. Isn't life just so good?

(Even though I was very embarrassed in Zac's tonight because Di had brought me a birthday cake and everyone sang Happy Birthday.)

And I am beginning to suspect that my love for my new boots is a bit excessive.

The vanishing cake

Here's the cake I invented for Zac's tonight.

Invented is probably too generous a word. Adapted is more like it. I can't decide whether to call it apple surprise or pear and pecan cake. Although at the rate Husband is going the rapidly-vanishing cake will be a more appropriate name.

Watch out! Meteor approaching!

I was just listening to a serious programme on radio 4, the serious station, with proper serious scientists who were talking about the apocalypse and the serious possibility of a big meteor hitting earth and one of them said, 'One way to stop the meteor would be to paint it black.'

Uh huh.

You'd only have to paint one side, apparently, as that would be enough to change its course. Ah, that's not so hard then.

Books and films

It's been over three years since Harvey died but, watching Marley and Me at the weekend, we realised how raw it still feels.

The film was more about family life than about Marley, unlike the book, which incorporated far more Marley stories, but I enjoyed it nevertheless - until the last few minutes.

The DVD was a birthday gift from Younger Son and Girlfriend; Husband gave me season 1 of House. I've heard good reviews so I shall look forward to watching that. And hope it doesn't make me cry.

Oh, and I've finished Can't Wait to Get to Heaven by Fannie Flagg. It's a delightful, slightly whimsical and thoroughly feel-good book. I can really recommend it. It's a vanilla cupcake of a book.

My funky boots!

Don't you just love them?!

They'd arrived when I got home from work. I tried them on and haven't taken them off since!

And to think I almost bought boring brown boots.

And suddenly I'm wondering why everyone doesn't wear purple boots - or red or yellow or blue - and wouldn't the world be a happier place if they did?

Living the dream

Two large boxes of Maltesers. What more could a girl want?There was a bit of a theme running through my presents. Daughter bought me a lovely Neal's Yard aroma stone oil burner type thingy with the oil to go with it: Optimism for inner confidence and joy. Younger Son and Girlfriend bought me this mug. Note the crisis management theme?
And today I went into town and picked up my birthday present coat that I'd ordered and had another look for boots.

I found a lovely pair: nice brown ones, not too high or too low, not too wide or too tight, just Baby Bear right in fact. And I'd tried them on and was admiring them in the mirror when I saw my downfall: purple Doc Marten's.

The sensible bit of my brain said, 'Get these nice brown ones'; the other bit - the larger bit - said, 'Purple Doc Marten's, mmmmm, nice.'

They didn't have them in my size ... so I've ordered them. (They're not the traditional DMs but a shorter slip-on type.)

I blame the poster on the wall in the shoe shop. It said, 'Don't dream the life; live the dream,' so that's what I'm doing. When I told Husband he said, 'I dread to think what your dreams are like.'

"When I am an old woman I shall wear purple." (Jenny Joseph)

Not that I'm old. I never liked being 57 (even with its Hinds/Heinz connotations) because it's an ugly number but I like being 58.

Wales 25 - 29 South Africa

Oh my good gosh! I cannot sit through many games like that one!

Wales had a brilliant start and South Africa were rubbish in the first half. At that point I said to Husband, 'I think I get more tense when Wales are winning,' because I know it's not going to last!

And it didn't. But what an exciting game. I had to eat a whole box of Maltesers to calm myself down.

The diet restarts today!

We had a lovely meal at Out of the Blue last night. I had sardines for starters followed by monkfish in a creamy smoked bacon, cockle and leek sauce. I was going to post a photo of it but I I realise it looked like a plate of vomit so I won't. It tasted delicious though! Lots of strong flavours.

Then for pudding Husband had a trio

of crème brulee (normal plus alcoholic ones) and I had panna cotta. Younger Son and Girlfriend had brownies, which weren't as good the ones we make.

And I was thinking: it's nice to go out to eat but it's rare to get food that is better than we have sometimes at home. The meals I've had this week cooked by Girlfriend and Daughter were just as nice as the restaurant food. I suppose it's just the being waited on, the wide variety of dishes that you wouldn't normally have at home and having it cooked for you that make a meal out special rather than the quality of the food.

Having said that we have had extra-special meals at Jack in the Green in Devon and The Greenhouse in Kew.

Food, glorious food

Wednesday evening Girlfriend cooked a lovely meal of stuffed rolled chicken and roast vegetables for us, followed by fresh pomegranates. I'd never had pomegranate before but Husband regaled us with tales of when he 'were a lad' and his mother would give him a pomegranate and a pin. It would keep him quiet for hours.

And so he insisted we should use pins.

It was quite nice but probably not worth the effort. Apparently you can buy packs of ready-seeded pomegranates so I think, should I decide to tackle a Nigella recipe - and she is very fond of throwing on pomegranate seeds - I'll buy those.

Then last night in Devon Daughter cooked us a special pre-birthday meal: haddock with a creamy leek sauce and lovely perfectly cooked vegetables. Followed by home-made sticky toffee pudding.

Tonight, for my birthday meal, Husband, Younger Son, Girlfriend and I are going to Out of the Blue, a new seafood restaurant in Mumbles.

I could get used to this life.

But I probably won't weigh next week!!

(Especially as I'm sitting here munching my way through a box of Thornton's mint chocolates, given to me by Janet.)

Views from the canal bank

Not sure I'd want either of these as my neighbours!

Canal boats laid up for the winter.This is the last remaining aqueduct on the Devon section of the Grand Western canal. The railway lines - part of the Great Western Railway - that were built under it eventually were part of the downfall of the canal system as trains could transport goods more efficiently than the old barges.

Fortunately in 1971 Devon Council responded to a campaign by local people to stop the canal being filled in and turned it into a country park.

The alternative to Superwoman

Hoovering the stairs this morning - for the first time in ages - I decided I'd be very thorough and use the brush for the steps and the long pipe for the bits in-between the uprights in the banister. That lasted for all of six steps before I had a Shirley Conran moment.

(For those too young to remember, Shirley Conran, who was at the time married to Terence of Habitat, wrote a book called Superwoman, with the most famous quote from it being, 'Life's too short to stuff a mushroom.' By the way, all of the facts within the parentheses are open to correction as I dragged them from my memory, life being too short to google Shirley Conran.)

And that inspired me to come up with my brilliant idea: the Sodit range of greeting cards. Can be adapted to suit all situations. The only problem being, as you can see, that I can't draw.