3 more Talks

Yesterday evening I went to 3 Talks again, the evening of food, chat and three ten minute sessions in which people talk about their passions or whatever they want really.

Black bean tacos was on the menu as were chocolate brownie and ice cream so I was happy before the talks even began!

The first talk was about sustainable food and would have been interesting had it not been a forty-minute academic lecture crammed into fifteen minutes. By the time she got to doughnuts - not the greasy sugary delights but models of sustainable development - I was well and truly and glazed over.

Next talk was by a drama therapist who used the story-telling technique of drama therapy to relate her own story - a childhood of being called thick and trying and failing to live up to her parents' standards. Asked if she had made peace with herself now her answer was "sort of."

The next speaker when asked the same question said, "No, it's a lifelong work." He is a gay man who'd been pushed into conversion therapy when a teenager by his church who considered homosexuality a sin. Therapy didn't work. (Surprise.) He trained as a nurse and went to work in refugee camps in Cambodia where he met and married a feisty wonderful woman, and they had three children.  

His wife knew he was gay and though he loved her more than any other woman, as much as he could love a women, he always felt he'd not been able to give himself fully to her. Her sudden death after twenty-three years of marriage left him devastated.

Presenting Good Touch, Bad Touch
at a conference

When he found himself in a relationship with another woman he had to ask the question if this was what he wanted. He had to be honest and 'came out'. He's in Linden Church now and is thankful to be part of an inclusive and accepting community. 

I've known him for a long time and was expecting him to talk about his research into the sexual exploitation of men and boys. (He and his wife set up The Message Parlour in Phnom Penh's red light district to befriend those working there.) So I was surprised when he began his talk, "I'm a gay man."

I knew he was gay but hadn't known the long history behind it. He was wonderfully honest and very funny. He also created a flipbook to be used with children called Good Touch Bad Touch. It's now been translated into many languages and is used in lots of countries.

He was the one who explained to me the error in many cases of using the good old Christian phrase, "Love the sinner but hate the sin."

I have had to rethink my thoughts on homosexuality over the years, but I'm pretty sure I'm there now. Actually I've gone back to my teenage years when, when rumours flew around about Cliff Richards, I couldn't imagine God being cross about one person loving another even if they were men. (Consensual of course.) "How can that be wrong?"

For a time after I'd found a real faith I felt I had to toe the line and that it does actually seem to say in the bible that it's wrong. Now I've come to a better understanding of those texts - although if I'm completely honest it's more that I still have questions for God - and most importantly am more convinced than ever that God is love and that his love is for absolutely everybody as Jesus demonstrated with his life and death and love. No-one is outside his love.