Sunday, October 10, 2021

Little black clouds

Today is World Mental Health Day. 

As regular readers will know I take a daily happy pill to keep me sane, but even so I am still prone to unexpected, unexplained even, lows. One hit me late yesterday morning. There was no trigger, no reason for it. If you think of depression as varying degrees of black cloud then a dirty grey one simply drifted over my head. 

It wasn't particularly serious and dispersed when I met up with the family. But these visiting clouds are a reminder of how sneaky they are, and how for some, the many whose problems are much more serious than mine and who need a lot more support, they never disperse fully or go away.

I was sitting at the computer when the cloud floated over. I knew I needed to get up and do things, to shake myself out of the apathy that was gathering. I knew that sitting at the computer wouldn't help but would only make it worse yet I was stuck, not even doing anything that could be called useful but playing solitaire over and over again. I had things I needed to do but they seemed too ... I don't know, much I suppose.

I'm fine now, by the way. It really was a brief passing wisp almost. But I'm an intelligent woman (honest I am really!), I have a loving family, and friends, I have my Christian faith, a good comfortable home, and all I need. I am so blessed in so many ways. What have I got to be depressed about?

Nothing. But that's not the way depression works.

I am fortunate that I am only mildly affected and that, on the whole, my symptoms are kept in check. Others aren't so lucky. 

There is more support available now than ever, and there is less stigma attached to mental health issues, so please, if you're struggling, talk to someone you trust, or to a professional. Sometimes talking is all you need.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Those damn brain chemicals! They do what they want, when they want.

Cop Car said...

It is wonderful that, as you noted, Liz, there is so much less stigma attached to all aspects of mental health these days. Thank you for an enlightened posting.

Ole phat stu said...

Have you tried taking Lithium pills Liz?

PipeTobacco said...

I can understand the dirty grey clouds analogy. I sympathize.


Debby said...

I know what you are talking about. I have been taking anti-depressants since the mid-1990's. I, too have nothing to be depressed about although I did go through a period where everyone close to me was dying and that set me back. It's a struggle and for the most part, I am fine but I totally understand where you are coming from. Take care.

Janie Junebug said...

Without an effective antidepressant I am barely able to function, so I understand the need for medication. We do not choose to be depressed. It happens.


Polly said...

I'm sorry to hear about the depression. I suffered a few bouts of it many years ago, it's horrible, all I wanted to do was sleep.