Talking without talking

Tomorrow I'm talking about my books to a women's group. Today I am practising my talk. But I am trying not to talk. On account of my tickly tonsils. Not a really sore throat, just an annoying discomfort, and a sniffle.

I didn't sleep well last night because of said throat but also because my brain decided to write a new novel. My brain says this one will definitely be a best seller. My brain tells lies. You should be able to trust your own brain, shouldn't you? My brain also tells me to include a tortoise in the plot. I can hear you asking why; I have no answer for you. I argued that a dog would be more logical as I know about dogs. Or even a cat, but my brain said, 'No, it must be tortoise.'

Husband just came into the study. 'My tomatoes have whitefly,' he said.
I googled remedies. Calcid wasps eat whitefly, are available to buy, and are recommended, but, as Husband pointed out, after you've bought them how do you stop them leaving your greenhouse? I suppose though that if there is a ready source of food they will be inclined to remain. Other advice included introducing natural enemies. I assume they meant of the whitefly. What would count as a natural enemy of mine?

I am a friend to all - except flies - though a crocodile might look at me as a tasty snack, and a tiger, used to being hunted by man, might view me as an enemy I suppose.

You see how easily I am distracted? I went upstairs this morning to look for something and then I spent ages flicking through photos, where I found this one of me pretending to be a duchess with  Younger Son at his wedding a number of years ago. My legs are definitely my best feature.