Another day, another rejection

Two in one week is pretty good going even for me though.

When I go to the library or bookshop I am encouraged to see so many published books especially when many are only as good as or worse than my novels. I am equally discouraged for exactly the same reasons. 

You think that if you're good enough you'll be recognised one day but do I really believe that? If I do does it mean that I'm not good enough? If I don't, why do I keep on trying? 

I'm sure that, just as there are hundreds of wonderful singers who sing out their hearts in local amateur productions, and hundreds of skilled artists who tout their wares in local craft shops, there are hundreds of very good writers who will never be professionally recognised and published just because.

Tomorrow I'll try again.

Getting back on the horse

Have just submitted Novel 3, about dogs and their owners, to another agency. I realise that the last rejection I had, which though positive was still a rejection, was last November so I need to get myself up and at 'em again.

I also realise that Novel 2 has been with a publisher for almost a year now. I queried it in October and they said it was still under consideration. I suspect they've now lost it but I don't want to ask because while I don't hear I still have hope.

I suppose I could submit that to an agent too as I'm sitting here with the list of agents in front of me. Can I face it?

Let's prepare for the rejection roundabout.

On the rejection roundabout again

Novel 3 rejection 1 received today. 

I read the email at lunchtime but the wave of depression has only just swept over me - 3 hours later. 

However after a day of torrential rain the sun has just come out. I'm sure there must be a rather lovely Christian analogy there but at the moment I can't be ... I'm tempted to use a word favoured by the young and less-than-sweet-mouthed but, though I might say it in my head I can't write it on my blog so I'll settle for ... bothered to look for it.

Instead I'll find the next agent on the list and submit again. While allowing myself to sigh just a little.

In a funny sort of mood

I don't know how I feel. Just not quite right. I've been trying to cut down on my happy pills by taking half a day; perhaps I'll up it again. I obviously need the chemicals.

Anyway, what else? I've lost my blogging mojo. I think of things to write but then when I sit down at the 'puta I lose my enthusiasm. 

I had another rejection today for novel 2. It came as a surprise as I'd sort of forgotten I'd sent it to an agent and, initially, I just shrugged it off but I think gradually, during the afternoon, disappointment has crept in again.

Novel 2 is very different from This Time Next Year; it's a dark tale about a woman seeking her past. It's more literary - I like to think - but not proving any easier to get published. As Husband said when I was discussing it with him, 'Getting published seems to take more than talent.' And that's assuming I have talent! But it does: it takes the right person on the right day in the right mood to fall in love with your manuscript.

I'm waiting for my daughter and daughter-in-law to read and comment on my first three chapters of Novel 3, another light-hearted girly sort of book, before I start the submitting process. On days like this, in this sort of mood, I think, 'Can I really go through all that disappointment again?' But I know it's worth it because unless I get an agent/publisher I won't believe in my work. I may have published a novel that's been enjoyed but I still can't call myself a published novelist, not in my own head anyway. 

Big sigh. On to other things.

Speaking in prison yesterday I broke a cardinal rule: I asked a rhetorical question. In the chaos that followed, which felt like an hour but probably only lasted three minutes, answers were followed by questions such as, 'So was Jesus a Jew?' and 'What about Hitler then?' (No, I don't know what he had to do with the Easter story either.)

But I started my talk by saying sometimes it seems as if God ignores your prayers. I had a very swift godly rebuttal on that front.

There were a couple of lads in the back row, who during my introduction, were giggling and smirking. As we began to sing the next song I prayed that they would quieten down and not disrupt the others - or me as it doesn't take much to put me off my stride. Almost before I had finished praying two guards moved in and whisked them out and back to their cells. Not perhaps the ideal answer (which would be that hearing my words they'd realise their past mistakes and give their lives to the Lord, hallelujah, sister) but it'll do for me, thank you, God.

Oh yes, and when writing my talk I referred back to something in one of the bible readings we were having - except I'd decided not to include it after all and didn't realise until halfway through my talk. Hey, I handled it like a pro. 'Oh crumbs, are we on this song already? I meant to include ... but didn't so .. well, let me tell you a story.'

And all this with the new chaplain getting his first taste of what we, the little team that goes in to support, can offer him, should he choose to continue using us. 

I asked him afterwards if it was okay. He said, 'Yes, great,' but he would, wouldn't he?

Just a catch-up

I don't really have much to say at the moment: I'm a bit caught up in finishing editing novel 3. Then it'll be back on the agent-rejection-try-again cycle. Self-publishing is easy - until it comes to the marketing, promotion and sales, which is why I still want to go the 'proper' route. Having an agent/publisher also says that someone believes in you, thinks what you have written is worthwhile. And even though friends and other readers may say that, unfortunately it doesn't get you onto the shelf in WH Smith in airports.

It's not about making money but it is about selling books. Being a best-seller. Big sigh. I can dream.

So this morning, I was planning my sequel to novel 3, and just below the blurb on the back it says, 'the follow-up to the best-selling (whatever I eventually decide to call it)'. How cool would that be?

So, in the meantime, here are a couple of miscellaneous photos:

Looking across Swansea bay from Clyne Gardens today

Mr & Mrs Mandarin Duck in Windsor Great Park on Friday

Getting to know you

This lunchtime I finished the first draft of novel 3 with 83,959 words, 89, 961 if you include THE END. Yay!

It's the novel I started in November (NaNoWriMo) writing 50,000 words in 30 days. Since then Christmas and holidays and life have got in the way but I maintained the challenge of not editing at all and just getting the story down and at last it's done.

Now for the editing, which will be a long process. I know there are things I need to add and corrections to make and probably stuff to cut out too, so it will be interesting. Main problem at the moment - though not immediately urgent - is coming up with a title. Husband suggested one while we were walking on the beach this afternoon. I wasn't convinced about it at first but now I've discovered that it was used by a popular author of romantic fiction only last summer I am certain it was the perfect title for my book!

We've been brainstorming over dinner and everything I like I find has already been used. Husband did have one other 'brilliant' idea though: that it should be called Getting to Know You and the front cover should feature two dogs sniffing each other's bottoms. I have ruled this out - although may consider it for the back cover.

This afternoon, to celebrate we took George to the beach. 

Deathly dilemmas

2,217 words done on novel 3 today. Coolio.

But is Jon going to have an affair? It's looking like it at the moment but is that the right way forward? Should Sybil die? If she does it means Maggi can go to Australia but Angela will lose her cake-baker. 

So many dilemmas.