Me and phones, we don't get on.
I use mine mostly to take photos. Also for whatsapp but I have that on my computer too so I often have no idea where my phone is. (I just remembered: I left my jumper in the garage when I was gardening, and now I'm sitting indoors I'm getting colder. Will have to fetch it. BRB.)
So Husband went for his appointment this morning and I went home promising to make sure the volume on my phone was turned up.
About 50 minutes later I opened my phone to take a photo of Syd and, coincidentally, saw that Husband was phoning me to collect him. And had been for some time.
It seems my phone was on vibrate rather than noise (I did that for the theatre on Friday). But it was in my back pocket so I should have felt it. Either my bottom is too big for any tremor to get through, or I simply thought it was just another sign of old age.
Anyway Syd and I did a good job clearing the raspberry bed of weeds. I say good job but maybe preliminary job would be more accurate. And, come to that, Syd wasn't a lot of help either.
* * * * *
In church on Sunday a man read a poem he'd written. Now, please tell me what comes into your head when you hear this line:
Seeking solace in the carpenter's arms.
I can't be the only person who imagines a man drowning his sorrows in the pub.
* * * * *
Last night's course introduction was good. I've read the book on Emotionally Healthy Spirituality but gave up a bit towards the end so didn't make any progress on myself. Last night focused on slowing down and being silent, and seeing what it is that gets in the way.
That's easy: my brain. It rushes around twenty to the dozen. Any hint of silence and my brain will fill it with anything from what's for dinner to how can there be imaginary numbers, and everything in-between. Even watching the video I kept thinking, I wish he'd stop moving his arms so much.
Just the thought of spending time contemplating sends my brain off in spirals of panic.
But also the computer gets in the way of me and contemplation. I have no time to 'waste' on stopping and thinking but I do have time to play solitaire. There's nothing wrong with games in moderation but once I start I can't stop. I will play mindlessly.
From the Daily Office book accompanying the course:
The problem is twofold: first we neglect to pay attention to what is going on inside us. And second, we are too busy to stop, slow down, and be with God. (I would suggest - or our thoughts if God isn't in the picture.)
Daughter is coming on the course with me. I have warned her that she may discover that all her problems stem from me!
One of the things mentioned last night, that will be dealt with in greater detail, is the false self. The one we wear for other people. I am guilty of this, caring too much what others think of me and allowing my self-worth to be dependent on what I do or achieve.
Hm, got a long way to go.
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