You too can look like me

According to posts on facebook if I:

suck ashwagandha gummies, I'll be calm;

take bloatburn, it will flatten my stomach;

take hormone harmony, I'll reduce my cortisol levels;

take a magnesium supplement, I'll sleep like a baby;

do tai chi walking, I won't recognise myself.

I could also try a fatty liver detox, or hypnosis and a water fast. 

But my favourite is: Your body is not old. Your fascia is blocking your lymph flow.

Excuse me, I've got to go and unblock my fascia.