Husband and I made wills when our children were little and we've talked for years about updating them. Now we're finally doing it using an online will writing thingy.
All very straightforward but it does allow room to say what sort of funeral and burial/cremation you want.
I don't really care how people get rid of me once I'm gone. I'd rather them not waste an expensive bit of wood, but I can't decide which I fear most: waking up and finding myself under ground or in flames. So maybe I'll just include a note saying, 'Please make very sure I am absolutely dead before you dispose of my body.'
Music wise, for my final farewell, I am torn between Born to Run, because I love to sing it at the top of my voice - and if anything's going to wake me from the dead that will be it - and Land of Hope and Dreams, because it has fab words.
7 comments:
Oh dear, I feel a long, lecture-y comment coming on!
Lawyers usually recommend that funeral instructions NOT be put in a will because typically, wills are not read until AFTER the funeral. Funeral instructions are better put in a separate document that is not testamentary in nature.
Wills are extremely technical documents and must be written, signed and witnessed exactly right or they will be invalid. Unfortunately, such invalidity will not be discovered until the will maker is dead but it's too late then. If you intend to leave money to grandchildren who may be underage when you die, you need a bunch of trust provisions in the will as well.
This is why lawyers say that "do it yourself" wills may save you a few bucks in lawyers' fees in the short term, but can come back to bite your ass in the long term. This is not an area in which to scrimp. Also, while you're at the lawyers getting wills prepared, you can have the lawyer prepare a whole package of very advisable documents like enduring powers of attorney and personal health directives in case of mental incapacity as we age. Such documents can save a lot of money later by preventing court applications to appoint trustees and guardians for those rendered mentally incompetent by Alzheimers, stroke, accidents, etc.
Oh gosh! Is that why lawyers train for so long?! We're planning power of attorney too. I shall mention especially the age thing to Husband.
If you're planning powers of attorney documents too, please PLEASE have a lawyer draw them up. They're even more complex than wills to get exactly right!
From personal experience I totally endorse everything Debra said. Our lawyer rolled in the durable power of attorney and contingency and the expression of wishes, aka living will, into the document.
I blessed him many times when probate went like a bird, everything complete and right. Before that, during his hospital care, the very official expression of wishes in this context stopped any argument from doctors who didn't know us.
raised seal copies are kept safe, and we gave Xerox copies to our son so he'd know what was in there. He's familiar with my will, too, sick of seeing it because I keep reminding him of handy things to know.
This massive response is heartfelt because you also need to clear the safe deposit box before you let the bank know why! A friend ran to the bank after her mom died saying I need to get in her box to do her funeral the way she wants. And they were legally required to seal the box. Because now they knew.Disaster.
So take Atty. Debra's advice!! And excuse my lengthy speech. I know too many sad stories about this scene.
Not to scare you but my own attorney-written durable power of attorney is 28 pages long. (One page is merely a signature.) I was appalled since my do-it-yourself durable power of attorney had been 3 or 4 pages long.
Mine too. a bank official said oh thought it would be a laminated card in your wallet!!
Fortunately my daughter is a paralegal and she does all the drawing up of wills for her attorneys. She did mine also. I don't worry about body disposal (cremation is my 1st, 2nd, 3rd choice - no holes in the ground for me).
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