I've been preparing next week's talk and as I read back over what I'd written it occurred to me: I am very good at not practising what I preach.
So much of what I say seems to go along these lines: This is what the bible says but, yes, I know how hard this is and often can't do it.
I know it may help people sometimes to know that others are human and have the same difficulties but, really, all the time? Is there a point at which being flawed becomes too flawed?
In my talk I was thinking about letting go, in particular, of unforgiveness. I was supposedly encouraging listeners to 'let it go' while saying I'm not sure I have.
But then today, continuing to ponder the topic, I realise the incident I was thinking about is forgiven. It's gone, it's okay. But no sooner was I was celebrating the fact that I was okay on that front, than another event cropped up in my memory. And it's not even one I've thought about forgiving - or thought about the need to forgive.
There is a person, not really in my life any more, with whom I have issue. I have been working on changing my attitude for some time, taking action to be a better person, and it is helping but now I see that the unforgiveness thing, which was buried deep, is still a 'thing' for me. So I need to forgive.
Just me and God. No need to involve the other who would have no idea what I was talking about anyway. Then maybe I'll be able to continue improving my attitude, and have one less flaw to feel guilty about!