Goodbye, Cousin

I grew up in a large extended family, my gran being one of eight surviving children. As my great-gran lived with us our home was the setting for family gatherings and get-togethers throughout my childhood.

I had lots of cousins, and I suppose we fell into some sort of vaguely age-related groups. My main group, by age down, was Howard, Lynne, me, and John, with the added extras of the slightly older Sue and Spencer on occasions.

And of my group I was closest to Lynne and John. We went on holiday together - a caravan on Gower - and to the beach together, Rotherslade being our favourite, mainly by dint of the fact that it was the closest to walk to.

But, as I said, we caravanned in Port Eynon too and once were enjoying the thrills of dune jumping when John realised he still had all his money in his pocket. Or rather he had had all his money in his pocket. There would have been good pickings for any metal detectors out that night.

As we grew older we all grew apart, different lives, different interests, but a good number of years ago - at least twenty I should think - I had walked to the main road to catch a bus to town. I was waiting at the stop when a car pulled in. I did my usual peering, 'Who's that?' - yes, I did it even then - and realised it was John. 'Want a lift?' he said.

It was only a short journey but for that time we chatted as if no time had passed. He was just as cheeky as ever. I'm not sure but that was possibly the last time I saw him.

Yesterday evening I found out that he'd died. And that I'd missed his funeral. Not that I could have gone with lockdown restrictions but I would have stood at the roadside and paid my respects. He was my little cousin and probably favourite cousin.

And he was another one of those about whom I said, in pre-lockdown days, 'I really must call in and see John one day.' My advice: don't leave it until it's too late.

Of the six of us I mentioned earlier, four are now dead, all cancer, all too young. Only Lynne and I remain, and we haven't seen each other for years, and our communication is limited to Christmas cards. I should make an effort. Will I?

1961 at another cousin's wedding. Great-gran, Great-uncle Jim, cousin Deanne, and John's mum, Megan.

Sue, Lynne, and John (Sue was John's sister). Actually they were all a generation higher than me.

Great-auntie Lottie, cousin Gareth, and John on my swing

If the tide was in, we swam. John at the bottom of the steps with his mum.

Cousins - Howard, Lynne, me and John, with the younger Stuart and Debbie in front

A hard life being stuck on a beach with four girls (including me who was taking the photo)

Early surf days

With me and friends. Honestly he was not a miserable boy! He must have just hated having his photo taken, I've never noticed before!