It was a grim few weeks all those years ago. My mum had a brain haemorrhage and was hospitalised. While there she had another bleed and after they operated to drain it she never regained consciousness. In between times she said to me, 'You look familiar.'
It struck me today that i'd never thanked her for keeping me. While she was alive I hadn't reached the place where I was grateful to have been brought up in a loving extended family. I still felt the shame of illegitimacy. I never really considered what she went through and the shame she must have felt being the unmarried mother. Today I thanked her.
While returning from visiting my mum was in hospital we were in a crash. As a result my cousin's girlfriend lost an eye, my grandmother broke her leg, and my great-aunt died. I was fine. I've written about this before and how for a long time I felt 'It should have been me.'
I was the main beneficiary of my great-aunt's will: she and her husband were childless and had wanted to adopt me.
5 comments:
What a sad and troubled time that was for you. Isn't it great that as we age, we grow to better understand our parents, their lives, choices and difficulties. By the time enlightenment comes, though, it's usually too late to discuss it directly with them. A source of regret that I know from my own life.
That was a difficult time indeed. Those intervening years must have had difficult days but you persevered. Age gives us wisdom and understanding to see the past and our parents in a different light.
It was a sad time but you were wanted by your mom and aunt. That's a huge bright sunny place in your memories.
What a tragic time you endured - at such a young age. When my father died, a friend told me, "No matter how long they are with us, it's never long enough!) How true. I still catch myself with thoughts that I must share with Mom or Dad.
The grave markers are lovely.
Oops! That last comment is from Cop Car. Sorry
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