Wednesday, November 16, 2016

A disaster!

That's the only way to describe my leading of bible study last night.

I'd hadn't practised enough - Younger Son and Nuora took me out for a belated birthday ice cream in the afternoon when I should have been practising. (My toffee chip crunch sundae was delicious and I don't regret it for one minute.) And it shouldn't have mattered.

The parable of the sower is a familiar story and I knew what I wanted to say but somehow when I started I lost all confidence and ended up stuttering my way through it. On the bright side there were a few entertaining moments though.

Like when I asked what fruit God wanted us to produce and Jayne, our special lady, said, 'Apples. And pears.'
'Um, yes, but what fruit does he want us personally to produce?'
'Bananas. Grapes. Tangerines.'

I tried to rephrase my question again but it was too late: this was much too much fun and soon I was being inundated with fruity suggestions.

Monty, one of our revered leaders, has got into the habit of finding an excuse to give out sweets during the studies he leads. This unsurprisingly makes him very popular so I thought what I needed was a bit of sweet cred.

'A careful farmer would avoid spilling seed on the path or rocky areas,' I said, 'but God sows his seed willy nilly. (On reading that now I realise it could easily have been misconstrued.) He wants everyone to have a chance to get to know him.' Giving me the perfect excuse to throw sweeties out into the crowd. No humans were harmed in the act. (Although Marcus nearly got a Quality Street in the eye.)

Finally it was prayer time. I said a prayer and paused just before the end so I could think if there was anything else I wanted to say. And in that moment of peace, that special quiet time, one of our younger Zaccers let fly a string of noisy farts.

What else could I say then except Amen!


Welshcakes Limoncello said...

It sounds fine to me!

Trubes said...

You are so funny Lizmade me laugh out loud in an otherwise gloomy day.
dark grey skies and cold driving rain,
Abandoned the plan of going out to pick some
new carpets fot my cosy sitting room and the
Hall stairs and landing. after receiving an
enormous quote (at least £800 more than we anticipated),
we've got to go back to the drawing board. Grrr I hate
sales people.
Have a lovely weekend,
Di xxx

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

A highly successful evening with everyone contributing something in their own way .

Liz Hinds said...

Thanks all! Di, that quote sounds horrendous! Carpet is so expensive.