Husband has been doing his regular money laundering stuff, moving our money from one account to another to get more interest. And he does it all in my name.
So he set up a new ISA for me and it required me to go into the bank this afternoon with my passport to prove I am who I say I am - or who he says I am.
I ran my fingers through my hair before I went and said, 'Oh dear, am I going to look like my passport photo?'
'It's a bad photo,' he said. 'you look like it.'
Thank you, dear.
In the bank the manager left me in an office while he went off to finish some paperwork. I soon got bored and began looking for things to do. I'm not stupid enough to start playing with a bank's computers so I began fiddling with the desk that had all sorts of holes and, as I discovered, moveable bits. It was just after a piece had come off in my hand that I looked around to see if there were any security cameras. I couldn't find any but I had this image of me turning into Mr Bean and trying to put the desk back together again before the manager came back.
I left hurriedly as soon I could.