The boy of the couple talks in his sleep and, apparently, one night he was heard to say, 'Liz Hinds will know.'
Now that is weird. And raises multitudinous questions.
What will I know? Why did he think I would know? Have we ever even met?
You see? Weird. So I pondered this for a bit and decided 'it must have been a message from God.'
Obviously I know something God wants the world to know. But what could that be? I know so much ... that is of use to neither man nor beast so what could I possibly know that is so important that God felt the need to use a prophet to draw it out of me?
Again I pondered long and hard while I was cleaning my teeth and came to the only possible conclusion: I must know the answer to life, the universe and everything. Oh yes, it is much speculated that the answer is 42 but now we know better.
Having established that I was the vessel into which this knowledge had been poured I sought to find it. It took me some time but it finally came to me in the middle of Sainsburys.
And I am willing to share the answer to life, the universe and everything with you for just £19.99. I don't think that's too much to ask for such significant knowledge, do you?
And before you ask why God would choose me to be the repository for such vital information, let me say one thing: God specialises in choosing the unlikely. Point proven.
I accept cheques, postal orders and paypal, but if you can't afford that, well, tough. I finally understand the prosperity gospel that people preach.
I think maybe I should take a pill now ... all this thinking is making my head ache. it's not easy being a repository.