One of my better qualities, I like to think, is that I'm usually very honest with myself. I understand my motivations and see clearly exactly what I'm about. The fact that I quite often don't like what I see is another issue; what disturbed me today was the sudden realisation that I'd been fooling myself.
It came as a shock, that awareness that what I'd been seeing is what I wanted to see and not how it actually is. I should have been expecting it really. Every so often I climb too high - and the fall is inevitable. And each time it hurts, but I still don't learn.
Maybe this time I can take something from it. That would be to my credit at least. If I can.
5 comments:
Seven posts in one day? Is that a record? Well I read them all but am commenting on this one because no one else did and we can't have that.
Nothing brilliant to say after all that. You sound like me, harder on yourself than any else is. I think of myself as a work in progress, slowly getting better I hope but it's one step forward two back sometimes. Doing one's best, what more can be asked?
Most people aren't aware of the difference between what they want to see and the actuality. You can see the difference. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Your honest here does you credit to start with.
I often say the person I most bullshit in the world is me.
I thought when told in rehab to "get honest" that it would be easy.
It wasn't - it still isn't. I often struggle with the simplest of honesty to myself.
I'm here Liz. Your net-sister.
Thank you all. I'm fine just, as jmb says, taken two steps back instead of going forward. Onwards and upwards!
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