I'm cleaning today. I hate cleaning. That's why I'm blogging.
I looked at the Hoover this morning. It's not something I usually do - look at the hoover. I just hoover with it. But this morning it cried out to me. 'Please don't use me! Retire me! put me out to dust-free pastures where I can spend my final days dreaming of sparkling stairs, rubbish-less rugs, and carpets so clean you could make mad passionate love on them without worrying about getting a bit of stick stuck in your back.'
It looks so pathetic if I were to put it in a jumble sale nobody would buy it.
Aside: do they still have jumble sales? Or have they been supplanted by car boot sales and charity shops? Jumble sales were the lynchpin of many a Save-Our-Steeple campaign so I wonder how small parish churches fund-raise now. There certainly hasn't been one for a long time in the Archers. I remember, as a child, buying lots of posh hats from a jumble sale. I don't know what I intended to do with them - and they probably weren't really posh at all - but I brought each one out to show my mum with great pride.
So anyway, after fixing today's hoover problem, I was happily hoovering the floor, talking to myself about jumble sales and hats, when George snook in behind me - leaving a trail of blood across my clean carpet.
I do love my dog and I wouldn't really swap him for a hamster. Unless it was very cute.
P.S. I washed George's paws and couldn't see any sign of a cut so it can't have been too bad - in case you think I am a very horrid person. And I even did it before I cleaned the blood off the floor!
8 comments:
Jumble sales have gone because everyone thinks they have something they saw on the Antiques Roadshow and therefore sticks it on eBay with a ludicrous reserve price.
Try it with the hoover - "rare model" "unusual markings" etc. and put a reserve on of £100 - you never know some hoover nut might snap it up... :-)
I think jumble sales have turned into car boot sale and ebay!
Don't laugh but I do know of someone who buys old hoovers and does them up!!!
We still have what we call "garage" sales where people put their junk...er, treasures out for people to buy. We also have car boot sales and I sold lots of my Dad's furniture on Craig's List.
I hate cleaning too but my hoover is newish so I don't have an excuse - well, not one that I can think of at this time of night. I'll have one by morning, though! Of copurse, it's mostly mopping the tiles, not hoovering , here. You're right about the lack of jumble sales in "The Archers " - this must signify doom and gloom for the country!
Is little George all right now? - Of course he must be, or you would have told us above!
Hoovers want nothing more than to hoover.
The day a hoover retires is the saddest in his life
I suck therefore I am
Duly placed in the focus
I thank the stars that I don't have to contend with a hoover, of all things my boys fight over who gets to use it :-)
Shall we set up a We hate Housework Facebook Group. My friend who is a stay at home husband used to turn on the hoover when his wife called from work. He would tell her that he couldn't hear her and needed to turn off the hoover. Instant kudos.
Our dog Spotty, hates the hoover and we throw him out when we are cleaning.
I will try the I am just going to blog line on my wife, next time I don't want to do the cleaning.
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