Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Handy Hint No. 24

You'll remember that I told you that bears can't run downhill so if you're chased by a bear you should find a hill to run down?

Well, I'm delighted to present today's hint: how to deal with a charging hippopotamus.

Two important facts to bear in mind.
1) A hippopotamus can run faster than a man (or woman, even one being chased by a hippopotamus);
2) It is impossible to lick your own elbow.

So, if faced with a charging hippo, I suggest that, rather than trying - and failing - to outrun him, you should hold your ground and try to lick your elbow. He will be so puzzled by this, that he will stop and try to lick his elbow. While he is engrossed in trying to find his elbow, you must take the opportunity to find a tree to hide behind.

This is, of course, assuming that the hippo is a 'he' - most females having better things to do than chase men - but should she be a she, then I'm afraid you've had it. She will be far too intelligent to fall for the old 'trying to lick your elbow' wheeze and will trample you.

1 comment:

Emmy Ellis said...

I've left a note on your 'lulu' post that you might find helpful.

:o)