When I told them in Zac's that I would be in Rome next week they asked if I were going for a job interview.
Can you imagine the headlines?
"Shock! Horror! Smoke turns puce! Whole Roman Catholic world in uproar as cardinals elect the first married, female non-Catholic for Pope."
On the plus side I'd get to ride in the popemobile and I'd have a chance to mug up on my Latin. On the downside I'd probably have to get up early every morning to pray and I'd have to give up chocolate for Lent. I'd also have to listen to people droning on a lot about their problems and be expected to come up with a wise thought now and again. Then again I'd get to wear loose flowing robes so wouldn't have to worry about dieting.
But on the whole I think it's probably best if I turned down the offer.