the seat collapses under me.
I look in the mirror and think, 'What's the matter with my hair?' Then I realise it's not my hair; my hair looks fine. It's my face that has seen better days.
Yes, I'm having a fat, old and grumpy day.
Which is not the right day to go and buy a new toilet seat. Because I come back with one that is ... (I would put the photo here but Blogger doesn't let me move photos around any more - so see next post) black and SPARKLY!