An awfully small adventure

So I'm driving along the motorway when I see a sign saying, 'Narrow lanes for 2 miles', and I think, 'Why?'

If you're building a road why suddenly decide to make a bit narrower than the rest (there's no obvious reason for it)?

Was it an accident? Did someone spill coffee on the plans making the ink run resulting in a forever-narrow motorway?

Or were they running out of tarmac and had to cut corners/lanes?

* * * * * * * * * * *

It took me about an hour and a half to get bored. And in that time I tried on several outfits. And got lost in the womenswear department in Howells.

The only dress I really liked was a long strapless - not topless as I told someone - eveningish dress. 'Could I wear that to a wedding, do you think?' I asked the assistant. She wrinkled up her nose, then looking at the dresses I was carrying, having tried them on, she sighed and said, 'Do you want me to take those?'

'Oh, yes, please. there are lots of little strap things to hang up.' That's what I said. What I should have said was, 'Of course I do, you snooty bag. That's what you're here for.' One day ...

* * * * * * * * * * *

Back at the car park I paid my money, got in the car and drove to the exit. I put my ticket in the machine.

'Cannot read ticket,' it said, pushing it out.

'Don't be stupid, of course you can,' I said, pushing it back in.

This continued for a few minutes, then the machine, exasperated, shot my ticket back at me, and it sailed out of my grasp, landing on the road beside the car.

I leapt out quickly to grab it and the machine began to pelt tickets at me. 'Oh, oh, er, don't, stop it.'

I jumped back in the car and had to work out - without my glasses - which was my ticket.

It's a wonder I ever got out.

Sometimes I think machines sense an inferiority complex and take advantage.

* * * * * * * * * *

Aneurin Bevan, creator of the NHS, looks towards Cardiff Castle. What I want to know is: if that was his normal stance, how did he avoid falling on his face?

Banned!

Not me but the Linden Church blog!

Access to it is blocked in China, although the Linden website is allowed in.

I feel foolishly pleased that the blog is considered subversive enough. It must mean they haven't read it though ...

* * * * * * * * * * *

I tried to text Younger Son to ask him to get some tortillas and creme fraiche on the way home. My phone has predictive texting and after I ended up with brendcreme and no way I could find of amending it, I gave up and wrote: get some of the white stuff.

Vital statistics

For some reason my counter stopped working this morning. It claimed that the code had changed. Rubbish. Silly technology. I knew roughly what my count was - I was getting excited as it was approaching 6000 - but it's lost all my statistics too. See what happens when you depend on anything other than your fingers and a bit of paper?

* * * * * * * * * * *

Elder Son tells me that his friend, Otty, is going to sing at the wedding, while they're signing the register. Otty is a rapper so I shall look forward to that.

I really must get started on the wedding cake this week too. Add it to the to-do list.

Male logic

We have a new photocopier in work, have I mentioned that? It must be a Welsh one: it's called Workio. (You probably need to have some familirrity with Welsh ways to understand that.)

It's also male.

You can tell by its logic ... or lack of.

It's very clever, there's no denying that. It can do all sorts of things our old photocopier couldn't. Actually that would be most things as our old one struggled to reproduce just one page, but this one can do double-sided printing.

Now if you have two sides and you want them to come out, double-sided, on one sheet of paper, wouldn't you think that would be 2>1?

Nuh-uh. It's 1>2. Alun says that is perfectly logical; I disagree (as you can probably tell). What do you think?

P.S. The Spellchecker thinks that familirrity in the first paragraph is an okay word. It should, of course, be familiarity. (Strangely enough it is picking it up the second time but still ignoring the first usage. Must be male too.)

I've had my first phone call!

On my mobile!

I've just come back from Sainsburys and was reading blog comments, while waiting for the kettle to boil, when a strange sound started. At first I thought Welshcakes - as it was her comment I was reading - had managed to attach music to her comment, and I was very impressed, but then I noticed it was coming from behind me. From my handbag in fact.

After staring at it for a moment I realised it was probably my phone!

I got it out and continued my impression of a goldfish. Okay, it was definitely the phone ringing but what did I do now? Green usually means go so I pressed that and said, tentatively, 'Hello?'
'Hello, mum, what do you want?' It was Younger Son.
'What do I want? I don't want anything; you phoned me.'
'Because you just phoned me.'
'No, I didn't.'
He sighed. 'You haven't got the key lock on, have you?'
'How do I do that?'
I don't know without looking at your phone.'
'Okay. I'll come up now.'
'Where are you?'
'Downstairs.'

For some reason this made Younger Son and his friends, who were with him, laugh even more.

I wonder who else I've phoned unknowingly.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Back on the Christmas card front, we had a card again this year, with love and prayers, from Jack and Betty. They don't seem to mind that I don't send them one.

If I knew who they were, I would.

Technophobe me?

Never! Technophile is my new middle name.

I have sent and received my first text messages on my new mobile!

I messaged a friend to give her my number; she wrote back saying, 'Who r u? U didn't leave ur name.'

Well how was I supposed to know that it didn't do it automatically? It guesses what words I'm typing so it's probably cleverer than me.

Now to cook dinner - something I can do - before we head off for a poker evening.

I just hope it's not red hot.