It'll be gnomes next

If you recall I recently entered a short story competition. It was run in conjunction with The People's Friend magazine, which bills itself as the 'The famous story magazine'. Each week it contains about six short stories plus a couple of serials and as such it's the probably the largest market around, so it's a good one to get into. Competition entrants were offered a free copy of the mag, which arrived this weekend.


Now the People's Friend is very gentle and traditional. No celeb gossip here, just a weekly rumination on village life from the vicar and adverts that reflect its audience. I sat in the garden at lunchtime browsing through it and reading the stories to try and work out where I'm going wrong.


And that's when I came across this advert for casual trousers in 'pull-on style with back elastication'. 'Mm,' I thought, 'they look comfy.'


I sat up suddenly and slapped myself several times across the face.


It was the second time in three days that I'd had a middle-aged moment. On Saturday, walking through the village, I spotted an outdoor clock cum thermometer. 'That would look nice in the courtyard,' I thought. And then pulled myself up. Oh dear, what is happening to me? I'm turning into a mother-in-law!


P.S. If you have an outdoor clock/thermometer, I apologise. These were particularly twee and I'm sure yours isn't.
xxx