Just call me Sucker

Before I was married I'd give a lift to work to one of my colleagues. He used to say that I had SUCKER written across my forehead in ink only other drivers could see because if ever a car was waiting to pull out, it'd pull out in front of me.

I reckon I still have SUCKER written across my forehead but now it's in ink that everyone can see. Except me.

So, tomorrow, I'm speaking in prison. I wasn't supposed to be but ...

I'm not sure when or how I became the sort of person who speaks in church. (When I say 'church' I mean Zac's or prison, of course, not 'real' church; they wouldn't have me.) Strangely enough I usually enjoy it - once it's over. 

Tomorrow I'm using the notes from the study we did in Zac's women's group on Thursday about Judas and Peter for my talk. It's going to end with something like: don't be a Judas (unable to forgive yourself and wasting your life), be a Peter (accepting that you'll fall and allow Jesus to help you up)! If I can just remember the rest of it I'll be fine. 

Having finished writing it out this morning I've read/orated it several times and I'm starting to confuse myself so I guess it's down to God and my memory from now on. I'll have my notes but I prefer not to use them too much.

I'll let you know how it goes.

And in the meantime I'll practise saying, 'No.'

Postscript, Sunday afternoon
Went okay. Apart from the whisperers, gigglers, sitters and man who knew more than me.

Stormy weather

In prison for church yesterday morning. We (Jez, Claire and I) took the service - or rather the services as we have to do it 3 times during the morning, for the different blocks. We were looking at the story of Peter, the disciple, who, when he tried to walk on water, was successful until he realised what he was doing, and then sank and had to be pulled out by Jesus.

What struck me about the story was not the fact that Peter stopped believing he could do it; far more amazing was the fact that he got out of the boat in the first place. How many of us, at sea in a storm, would trust someone enough to get out of the safety of the boat and walk on water? Not me, I'm sure.

Peter is my hero because he's such a doofus. He keeps getting it wrong, even denying Jesus after he'd spent three years living with him and knowing the sort of man he was. But in spite of that Jesus calls Peter his rock, and tells him that the church will be built upon him.

I think that's because Jesus saw beyond the man who wavered and had doubts, beyond the impulsive and foolish man that Peter appeared to be. Jesus saw the faith that made Peter get out of the boat, the faith that led him to give up everything to follow Jesus in the first place. And when Peter got it wrong, Jesus didn't give up on him; he just held out his hand and helped him.

* * * * * * * * * *

One of the songs we sang during the morning was 'This is the day'. We later noticed that the music for it was a traditional Fijian tune. We wouldn't have sung it if we'd realised beforehand! The previous day's defeat was still too raw for us to be magnanimous.
xx