Remembering Rowland in Zac's

We heard at the weekend that Rowland, tribal elder of Zac's, had died. He'd been ill for some time and hadn't been at Zac's since before lockdown. 

Rowland was an amazing man, wise, compassionate, missionary, teacher, and founder of a missionary school. Others will be saying lots about him in those capacities but I'd like to look back on some of his times with us in Zac's.

Before I write this I should say that I first met Rowland when he came on a writers' retreat I'd organised at Ffald-y-Brenin for church. And I should admit that he scared me. I'd heard so much about him that I was intimidated and, because he is a wise man who keeps his own counsel, he didn't say anything unnecessary so I became convinced he didn't like me. 

At Ffald-y-Brenin writers' retreat, Rowland in the centre

In spite of getting to know him a little better over the years, and being complimented by him several times, I was always a little starstruck and in awe of his wisdom, which often left me puzzling.

Roundabout 2011 Rowland began to attend our bible studies at Zac's. He frequently brought young Korean students with him, and at that time, was still travelling as well as spending long periods on his own with God. He didn't speak up very often in Zac's but when he did it was worth listening carefully.

The wonderful thing about having a blog is that I don't have to rely on my memory but can search for accounts of special times, written while events were fresh. Here are a few.

2013

 A great discussion on 'Blessed are the peacemakers' - particularly interesting in view of the situation in Syria at the moment. 

Rowland had an especially challenging viewpoint. He said that sometimes peacemaking can involve taking action with good intention but he suggested an alternative is intercession, not perhaps as I would think of it eg as long-term ongoing prayer, but as a lifestyle, a choice. It took the intercession of one man, Jesus, through dying, to bring us peace; it took the intercession of one man, Robert Jermain Thomas, a Welsh missionary who died in the attempt to plant the seed of Christianity in Korea, a country that today has more than 12 million Christians.

(I have to admit the option to be a peacemaker looks slightly less attractive when linked with dying for the cause.)

2013

Rowland, our wise elder, commented on the bit in the passage that mentioned faith and belief and talked about the difference between them. You can believe in something e.g. that this bus is going to town, but unless that causes you to do something, such as get on the bus, it's not yet faith. (I haven't explained that as well as he did.) 

You can believe but be independent; when you have faith you are dependent. You can believe there's a god but until you have faith you live your life independently of him. 

2013

It was a warm sticky evening and the room was full. We were looking at the story of the Good Samaritan, the latest in the series of Difficult Things Jesus Said - being love your neighbour. We were enjoying a good discussion without any real arguments and it was all going well. 

Then our visitor arrived. Not so much arrived as swept in on a hurricane with all the resulting chaos, and before we knew it we'd not so much lost the thread of the story as lost the whole book. 

She was full of questions: which God? Where is he? What about the babies that die? And the nuns who beat me and forced me to go to church? And probably lots of more that I've forgotten with my brain on overload. Now if you want to ask questions, Zac's is the place to come. But if you don't want to listen to the answers there's not a lot we can do.

Each time I or one of the others attempted to answer her question she'd start again on another track, and then everyone would join in the general free for all. And then Rowland stood up. Rowland is a very quietly spoken and wise older gentleman. He didn't address any of her questions directly but spoke about the Samaritan and the bit of Samaritan and kindness in each of us. And our new visitor was completely quiet all the time he was talking. 

2014

2014

Sean had asked Rowland, as our tribal elder, to 'write' a letter to the church at Zac's to present after the meal we were sharing together. Rowland began it by passing around a box covered in a cloth. We were told to look in the box but to make no comment. Then he told an old story from a Kalahari tribes people about a man who married a beautiful but mysterious woman. The only condition the woman put on the marriage was that the man was never to look in the box she kept with her; if he did she would leave. Needless to say the day came when the woman was absent from the house and the man could resist no longer; he opened the box to find it empty. When she returned he laughed at her for keeping an empty box. Sadly she replied, 'That box held my dreams,' and, as she had promised, she left him.   

The message from this story was, 'Hang on to your dreams. Never give up on them. God, who put the dream in your heart, will fulfil it.

One more, a personal one for me that is particularly relevant as I've been pondering in recent times what my role should be in Zac's. I have a tendency to have one bad moment and think I'm a failure and I should never be let loose on anyone again. Reading back over the lovely encouraging things Rowland said to me has been a wonderful reminder that I do have a role and I am capable, or as Rowland said at the end of one meeting, "Well done, Liz. You have the mantle upon you."

When someone like Rowland says that I have to believe.