Two days driving through Italy, France and England gives me plenty of time to ponder in between playing on my tablet, wriggling, sleeping, wriggling, checking messages etc. My thoughts can range from questions like, "How do clouds stay up in the sky?" to meditations on things I've noticed.
One of those things is the habit of some people, usually a man of some standing, to hold the arm of a woman when he's speaking. To grasp it just above the wrist. For no apparent reason. It's always made me feel slightly uncomfortable but I couldn't understand why so I've come up with a theory.
I think it's to do with dominance and subjugation. Done unconsciously I'm sure. But making sure the woman doesn't interrupt, or try to move away or in any other way undermine the man. I realise that's a sweeping statement and, as I said, it's subconscious, inherited from generations where males demonstrated their dominance physically. It's just built in to certain types of people.
It always seems innocent enough - Uncle did to me sometimes - so my discomfort with it was hard to explain. Maybe I'm more of a rebellious woman than I thought!
Another thing I thought about was men in prison. My friend Vivien had written an interesting blog post following the escape of a prisoner from a London jail. She cited social deprivation, lack of funding for schools and illiteracy as being at the heart of the problems. I would add expectation to that.
Expectation of others that someone is going to be a wrong 'un. Expectation that nothing can change that.
Expectation of the person that they can't escape, they have no option, theirs is the hard road ahead.
Many years ago I helped run a youth club for children aged 6-11-ish. The church was in the middle of a council estate and some of the children who came didn't have the best starts in life. One young lad had done a lovely drawing. I told him it was very good at which he screwed it up and said, "It's rubbish." It felt that he'd been told so often that he was rubbish, that he couldn't believe that he might have done something good. He ended up in prison.
And on that cheery note here's a little sketch I did for the grandchildren in Italy.
7 comments:
Lots to ponder in this post! Expectations are everything in one sense.
It's so true. Society makes self fulfilling prophecies.
You do think about a lot when travelling. 🤷.
Hi Liz , it's Anne .. blogger Anne. Not sure why but it's come up as anonymous 🙆. I detest that grasp above the wrist. It is to do with dominance. !!! Been there !!
Ruminations on male dominance and female subjugation? That Barbie movie affected you more than you thought!
I was not aware of that proclivity that some men have.
I'm with you, Liz. During the US presidential primary candidate debates, Mr Obama made a similarly condescending move on Ms Clinton. Ewww.... I expected that from Mr Trump, later in the US presidential candidate debates, but not from Mr Obama. It sets my teeth on edge to observe such a maneuver, let alone to be the receiver.
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