How not to feel guilty . . .

when you haven't done anything wrong.

Coming through passport control on our way home the English female officer started chatting to me as she waited for our passports to be verified. (I assume.)

"Where've you been? How long were you there for? Was it a holiday? etc"

At first I thought she was just being friendly - she said it all in a casual way - but then I began to worry that she was trying to catch me out. 

"Don't be silly," I tell myself, "there's nothing she can catch you out on. You haven't done anything."

But false guilt can strike the most innocent and make them panic. It was the same when we used to go through Customs. Anything to Declare? No. But what if I am inadvertently smuggling cocaine? 

Or when they swipe the car steering wheel, presumably for traces of explosive, there's a tense few moments waiting for an all clear even though I know neither Husband nor I have ever so much as touched explosives.

Or when you go through the machines that scan your bags and your body.

I always breathe a sigh of relief when I get through to the other side. 

I could never do anything against the law because I'd probably own up as soon as they looked at me.

So if anyone knows how not to feel guilty when you've done nothing wrong please let me know the secret.

Meanwhile I feel even worse today. If I'd been swimming in English seas I would put it down to the s**t the water companies are allowed to pour in but the Med seemed fine.

(It was one of those suddenly steep beaches.)