I just read a post on PipeTobacco's blog about family strife and it reminded me of the conversation we had with my cousin Anne on Sunday. Anne was the main reason we went to Dorset for the weekend. She is in her early nineties now - though you would not guess it: she is totally on the ball and active enough to do the ten minute across the fields walk to the local pub for lunch and take us on a tour around the historic town of Beaminster afterwards. I do hope I'm as fit as she is when I get there.
Anyway conversation turned to families and the problems wills cause. "Well," Anne said, "you remember the trouble over Auntie Grace's will."
Auntie Grace or Gay as I usually called her, lived in the next road to us when I was growing up and she was very close to me and my mum. As she was childless she even wanted to adopt me when I was born. When my Mum had a brain haemorrhage Gay would often come and visit her in hospital. On one of these occasions the car we were in was involved in an accident on the way home, leading to Gay's death, a week or so after Mum's.
Soon after I was surprised to be called into the local bank where the manager informed me that I was executor and main beneficiary of Gay's will. She'd left just about everything to me and my mum jointly but, as Mum had just died it all came to me, all being a terraced house and its contents, with a couple of thousand pounds to be shared between her sisters and brothers.
And that was when the trouble started.
I was under the impression it was mainly one of the brothers who kicked up the fuss - he didn't talk to my gran or me for ages after - but apparently it was the sisters too.
Families eh?
Anne gave me some old photos including this one of me and my cousin Lynne. We must have been in our late teens at this point. Lynne, as you see from the photo, was tall, slim, attractive, confident, and fashion-conscious, while I was the shy dumpy little cousin with no dress sense. The other thing that hits me from this photo is how dark my hair was.
5 comments:
Absolutely nothing rips families apart like disputes over wills and inheritances. Divorce and custody cases can be brutal too, but eventually most sane people settle down about the outcome. But resentment and anger over estate disputes can endure seemingly forever.
So true. And often it's about such minor items. It seems to trigger all kinds of resentments from long before. Unresolved disputes, masked as claiming rights.
Wills also have power ahead of time -- threats to disinherit, to include non relatives, all kinds of power plays.
It's a sad reflection on us as a species.
People should discuss their will before they die so there are no nasty surprises.
I have seen so many families in fights over wills and who gets what. It's really quite sad.
My lawyer is of the opinion that I should let people guess about my will, but I agree with Sparkling Merlot that there should be no shock to anyone when I die. I'm for sharing since I believe that is the best for a family.
Liz--From your descriptions in the text, I should not know which teen was which in the photo. You were both lovely!
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