Yesterday Husband said I was selfish. Just because I wanted my family in Italy to come home to live here. If that's selfish I'm fine with it.
But I'll forgive him because it's Father's Day and he fathered our wonderful children.
Now that crisis of confidence.
I'm teetering on the edge of a wormhole. I'm scared to start writing my novel again or do any promotion or marketing. I have opportunities when I could be writing but I play solitaire until I feel like crying then I get up and tidy something. (So at least there's some benefit!)
And it's not just fiction. I've just recorded my 48th radio talk. That's nearly a year's worth. I've had no feedback or encouragement, just "thanks for all you do". Which is fine but it would be good to be told if listening figures are up or just a "that was a good talk this week," comment now and again. Or even a "Wasn't sure about this week's talk." Maybe I'll make it to 52 and stop.
And I know I'm not supposed to seek praise from man but to do it for God but I'm human! And in need of reassurance.
And when doubt starts to creep in to one area then other areas of life quickly follow suit and I creep ever closer to the edge.
I shouldn't need this. But I do. Oh flippity floppity.
And I shouldn't be sitting here feeling pathetic and sorry for myself. Pull yourself together, woman!
7 comments:
Could you ask the radio station directly for feedback, good or bad, listener numbers, any comments from listeners, etc.? Let them know feedback will encourage you to continue. No harm in asking!
I will do, Debra. In fact I'll do it right now!
In regards to your novel, I URGE you to summon up the courage and gumption to write this next novel! You are an excellent writer, and I very much admire that you have competed novels in the past and continue to have ideas for additional works!
PipeTobacco
Unfortunately, I do not know of a way to access your radio programs from my location. The one sample you posted here, however, suggests they are sting and valuable.
PipeTobacco
You feel how you feel. No should about it! Of course you'd like some validation that at least people are listening. That's human.
Don't tell yourself you have to write a novel. Say you're going to write one scene, or one conversation, one paragraph, or one page. At the end of that you get to decide if you want to go on or stop until a later date.
Damn autocorrect!!! “Sting” in the above was meant to be “interesting”.
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