Almost every evening when I go to bed it is with a feeling of having fallen short. No matter what I've done it's not enough, I didn't do it well enough, I could have done better and more, and definitely I should have eaten less.
Last night I went upstairs and into the bathroom where Husband was cleaning his teeth. When he'd finished I told him my thoughts. He said, "It's a hard life being you."
"Do you ever feel like that?"
He thought for a moment and said, "Sometimes I think I should have been more enthusiastic and got stuff done - but then I think 'Sod it.'"
Oh, to have that attitude!
Is it a man/woman thing? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
6 comments:
I think it's a white male thing. They get approval from birth, so they can afford to be casual. Girls have to work for it.
I often have that feeling of not being (or doing) quite enough. But I think I'm unusual. I think men in general are taught that it's okay to just get by, to do the bare minimum, to muddle through. They're taught that anything more fastidious is a nerdy waste of time.
Good point, Liz. Until I stopped to give it some thought, I would have answered, "No, I don't think it's a man/woman thing." After a short ponder, I see what you mean. The commercial/social world has taught us females that we are not pretty/nice/thin/smiling/etc/etc/etc enough while it has taught the males, "Good job!"
You did great, Liz! You are perfect as you are! Why should you do everything that no one else does? You go, girl!!!! (And...take a break.)
Yes, I think a lot of it is attributable to how men/women were/are socialized differently (especially in our generation -- I do hope things have improved even somewhat for youngsters today but I don't know if it truly has). Generally speaking, self-confidence was socialized OUT of females while at the same time it was unduly PROPPED UP in males.
When I was just starting out in my profession, there was a saying that struck me as particularly true -- "Women HOPE to do well in their careers; men EXPECT to." From the young men and women I saw around me, that was very, very accurate. And it explains the difference in attitudes perfectly.
I agree with Boud. It’s a white male thing. In our recent protest in Ottawa, the many bearded white men were given “freedom” to do what they wanted for three weeks no matter how their actions affected the freedom of others. It is my belief that Indigenous or BLM protestors would not have been allowed to exercise the same “freedom.”
Why would you feel inadequate?
Your life as blogged here is a doddle!
You don't have to work or earn an income. Just walk the dog sometimes.
You've got it soft! No wonder your conscience prods you at times.
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