I used to be funny

I was searching through my blog for something when I came across these two gems from 2008.

I was woken in the middle of the night by music coming from our radio alarm and Husband fumbling around in the darkness.
'What are you doing?'
'I threw water over the radio.'
'Oh,' I said and went back to sleep.

Five hours or so later, when I woke, I said, 'Why did you throw water over the radio?'
'Because I didn't know the toothpicks were there.'
'Oh.'
'You're lucky I didn't electrocute myself.'
Indeed.

And ...

It came to me in a flush this morning. I am surprised no-one has thought of it before. I wonder if you can patent an idea. Anyway ...

If man could find a way to harness the energy produced by menopausal women's hot flushes it would solve the world's energy crisis.

Just think.

It's renewable: as one woman moves out of the menopause so another moves in.

It's universal: no village is too remote to have its share of menopausal women.

It's safe: as long as no-one says anything stupid like, 'What's for dinner, dear?' at the wrong moment. Or, heaven forbid, doesn't send an anniversary card.

It's free: well, only a small charge would be made for the service.

It returns to older women their rightful value: she may look cute on your arm, but I can light your lamp.

Genius!