Being brave

On Sunday morning I tuned in for the meeting of Linden Church - the church I used to attend. In one of the sections a man called Andy Hunter said how he used to do some things that he doesn't do any more and how he felt challenged by God to do it again. (That sounds far more mysterious than it was!)

It reminded me how I used to write more God stuff, short stories, and other stuff. Of late and for years I've only really written my novels and the odd article. Then yesterday I picked up and started re-reading Big Magic, Creative Living Beyond Fear, by Elizabeth Gilbert. It was given to me years ago by a good writing buddy, Shirley Davis. 

The first section in it is about fighting the fear, so feeling inspired by both Andy and the book, I took up my pen - literally, I wrote on paper - and wrote this. It's obviously not perfected: it's fresh off the page. But I thought I'd share it with you and encourage you to fight your fear if that's what's holding you back from living your dream.

An inconvenient nation
Wales, I’m Welsh
I say in response to your question
Then I wait
for a flicker.
Ah yes, land of song and rugby
natives with an unhealthy fondness for sheep
a language without vowels
Gareth Bale.
I want to say
I can’t sing 
except loudly and proudly 
at rugby matches,
that my affection for sheep is limited 
to the meat on my plate,
that the language of bards 
has no need of more vowels.
Instead I smile and nod
Gareth Bale.

If my first reply is greeted 
with a blank stare
because I give you the name of my country 
in a foreign language -
not its or yours – 
I pause, think, say
Gareth Bale.
You nod and smile
Gareth Bale.

Next time you ask me
I could lie
England, I’m English
Avoid the frowns
the puzzled looks
the ready misconceptions
claim as my country
not
the land of my fathers
but 
the land of my invaders.

I could choose 
to deny my nation
my history
my heritage
the blood in my veins.

I have a choice.
My nationality is
inconvenient
not life-threatening.