Steve as seen in Zac's

Back in 2012 I had a meeting with Sean, Martin, and Steve, about Zac's. Sean was planning on taking some time off and, before he did, he wanted a back-up system in place - and he wanted the three of us to be that back-up.

I wrote a couple of months ago about Martin's death; today I have to write about Steve's.

Steve had heart problems and over the years has diced with death. In fact a few years ago he 'died' at the swimming pool but was resuscitated. And this was in spite of being an incredibly fit and active man. He was a teacher for many years before leaving to concentrate on running  Breakout, an outdoors pursuit organisation working especially with the vulnerable and troubled. Another part of Breakout's work led him and his wife, Lynne, to support an orphanage in Albania, raising money and awareness as well as visiting, taking supplies, and providing practical assistance.

But that side of Steve's story will be told much better by others. The bit I can tell you about, using some cuttings from previous posts, remembers his time in Zac's.

2008
I said, 'Steve, I had this dream and it was about Lynne and it was so vivid that I feel I should share it with you.'
'Oh yes?'
'Yes. In it Lynne got married to Rolf Harris.'
Steve said, 'Strangely enough, that's been a long-held ambition of hers.'
'See? I knew it was of God. You will tell her, won't you?'
'You're crackers.'
'Coming from you Steve, I consider that a compliment.'

2011
Sean told me he was going to be away and wanted Martin, Steve and me to lead the study the next week. On the night I turned up bright and early to discuss with the other two what we were doing but when I got there they weren't there.
Time passed and eventually Martin arrived; he didn't know anything about leading it. And Steve just wasn't there.
Steve did turn up about halfway through the evening and he also denied knowing anything about leading it. Either Sean forgot to mention it to them or they're both lying.
Neither would surprise me.

With Mark who also died earlier this year

2012
There was a newcomer in Zac's tonight, and he declared himself, several times during the study, to be a confirmed agnostic or atheist; he couldn't decide.
Steve was leading and at one point our newcomer commented, quite politely, that 'those words are worth less than the shit on my shoes.' One of the things I love about Zac's is that no-one even blinked an eyelid.
Steve talked about a time when he'd been in hospital with heart problems and a moment had arrived when he really thought he was on the point of death. Even though he and many others had prayed for healing he felt this could be the end. Our newcomer piped up with, 'But you believe in God and you'd prayed so why did you think you'd die?'
He and Steve chatted a lot after the study and I'm sure Steve was able to respond more fully to the man's questions.

2013
Steve was leading the bible study last night on the bit where God makes this wonderful agreement with Abraham. God says, 'You'll have lots of children, the land of Canaan and I'll be with you and your descendants for ever. All I want you to do in return is ... cut off the end of your willy' (as Steve explained it).
Still it was only a little thing to ask really. (And you would not believe the number of plays on words that can be thought up by an irreverent crowd. Snippets. Tip of the iceberg. Etc.)
At one point Ric said, 'This topic was made for Liz to cover.'
Steve agreed, 'I feel I am depriving her.'
No, really, you carry on. I'm happy to be in the crowd for this one.

With Paul

2013
With Sean away, Steve was in the hot seat at Zac's last night. I found myself a place on the back row and watched with growing delight as the evening progressed: every 'eccentric' that has ever been in Zac's turned up. It was chaos. But Steve coped brilliantly. (I say 'growing delight' not out of a sense of mean spirit but simply that it wasn't me in the seat!) (Well, maybe a bit of tee-hee-ing.)
We were continuing with the first letter of Peter and we were looking at the bit where it says get on with everyone and live in harmony with each other. Steve asked what the word harmony meant to us and that was where the trouble started ...
We had our resident homeless alcoholic 'peeing on the lamp-post', marking his territory simply because the homeless Irish 'Catlic' dared to open his mouth; we had arguments about peace and tolerance; we had God cast as Big Brother and us as puppets when we could get on better by thinking positively; we had the grieving man whose only family was the guy with whom he lived on the streets; and we had our amiable-except-when-he-has-a-knife regular who has a habit of chatting with imaginary friends. Oh it was fun.
Steve dealt calmly, pleasantly and respectfully with each and every one - when he could make himself heard - but I think it was with a sense of relief that he prayed the closing prayer.

* * * * *

Intermittently today, when not on my knees trying to relight the boiler, I've been thinking about last Tuesday's bible study. Mostly I've been thinking about what I said and what I should and shouldn't have said.

I missed Steve Porter's presence. He is good at digging me out of my messes.

* * * * *

In Zac's during the 'love your enemies' discussion, Steve, who was leading, asked, 'Who's been insulted and not responded in kind?'

Lots of people put up their hands and Laura, who was sitting next to me, noticed that I didn't.

'Haven't you?' she asked.

'I can't remember ever being insulted.'

Laura burst out laughing and passed this on to Steve who said, 'She just doesn't realise it.'

>

* * * * *

Steve was leading the bible study last night - you remember my head-under-pillow experience last week? - and you could have heard a pin drop. When anyone wanted to speak they put their hands up. 

If it hadn't been for the dog piddling on the floor every now and again you wouldn't have known you were in Zac's.

'You are jammy,' I told him.

He shrugged, 'It's just that God loves me more than he loves you.'

* * * * *
Then there was the time I arranged to meet Steve at his warehouse at the other side of Swansea to pick up some baby stuff he was storing for me. We both arrived and then Steve realised he'd forgotten the key. 

He was a regular presence at our sea baptisms, welcomed not least because he provided wetsuits when it was a trifle chilly, and life-saving expertise when it was a tad rough.

Baptising one of our rough sleepers

He stopped coming to Zac's a few years ago for complicated reasons. I never gave up hoping he'd be back. He was funny, he was compassionate, he was wise and just a bit cynical, he had a heart for the unlovely.