When Husband first started doing family history we found out that she existed and through an intermediary made contact but she, my half-sister, said she didn't want to meet me. Was that because her mother was alive and she didn't want to risk hurting her or does she just not want to meet me?
I was born several years before my father married and his daughter born. His wife knew about me.
I am not particularly interested in finding a sister per se, but I would like to know more about the father I never met - although his abandonment of my mother tells me as much as I need to know I suppose.
So, what should I do? Should I write to her? What is the worse that can happen if I make contact?
She doesn't reply;
she replies but says go away; or
she replies and says okay.
Hum ho.
Really need something more cheerful. What about this lovely bunch of peonies I rescued from the garden where they were being rain-battered.
8 comments:
I think it is easy to shrink events into an small package that becomes a palatable narrative but it seems that it is rarely as simple as we try to make it.
Learning compassion for the broken man that abandoned me allowed me a bit more freedom and a lot more forgiveness in all areas of my life. You may have found that other ways but would it hurt to hear his story? I don't know. Perhaps it would. Everybody's walk is different. Perhaps you'll find a kindred spirit in a half sister. It's full of possibilities and, if it does not turn out to be magic, you are no worse off than before, are you? I have 4 half sibs...there is no magic but it doesn't hurt.
Good luck to you either way.
Well I think you have your answer written here. You write she didn't want to meet you before. Sadly for you. But question this. How would you feel if she said no again? . I don't know the answer. But I do know the experience of a dad walking away. (not my dad) not even acknowledging!!
I wonder which is worse - a father who leaves or a father who stays and abuses his daughters. (My situation)
Hard choices
She said no before and you're assuming a reason. What if she rejects again? What will you feel?
My husband left me last year after 25 years of marriage (he turned 50). It has been the most difficult year of my life, but full of lessons about myself and what life and marriage are all about. I am passionate about marriage and i didn't give up on my husband. resides in USA, I entered online in search of advice on how i can amend my marriage while i was at work. I saw so many positive reviews and nice feed back about how a Doctor called Robinson.buckler@ yahoo. com has been wonderful with his work. I gave a shot to make contact with him via his Email and he assured me that my marriage will be peaceful and i believed in his words. 16 hours after he finished work, my husband came back home pleading and now, we are living peacefully again. Get in contact with him if you need any help.
What the hell, it costs nothing to try. I'd write her.
Lovely peonies! They are one of my favourite flowers.
I disagree with Debra.
Leave her in peace!
Lest she think of you as an interfering old busybody.
If you do write to her maybe say you will respect her wishes if she doesn't want to connect with you, but you would like to know more about what your father was like. If she ever feels up to telling you, this is how to contact you. You will not pester her again and best wishes.
That way you are not pressuring her to have a relationship with you, and she won't be rejecting you. Is there any other way you can get information about what your father was like?
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