Some years ago Husband and I said, 'The children have left home; now we can buy a new sofa.'
And I said, 'Oh look! Let's get that lovely cream one.'
The world I inhabit (in my head) is the world of lifestyle magazines where cream sofas always look wonderful - and clean - and children don't drop raspberries on them and dogs don't rub their mud-laden hair against them.
I'm thinking of dying the covers. Black probably.
Even more years ago I remember a young woman who lived with her parents telling me how pleased her parents would be when they got home after their holiday. 'While they've been away I've cleaned all the skirting boards in the house!'
'Wow!' I said, thinking, 'You're supposed to clean skirting boards?' Ours only get cleaned when we redecorate.
I wonder what else I'm supposed to be doing that I don't.
Don't answer that. I'm happy not knowing.