Monday, May 11, 2015

In which George outmanoeuvres me

'I'm sorry, George,' I say, 'but I've come to the conclusion that the only way I'm going to have a clean house is by getting rid of you.'
George ponders this for a moment then says, 'May I put forward an alternative solution?'
'Of course. I am not one to deprive you of your human rights.'
'Huh hm, canine,' he coughs.
'Of course, I mean canine rights.'
'It is my belief,' he says, 'that there is only one answer to the how-to-get-a-clean-house question: you have to go.'
'Me? I don't create the dirt you do!'
He shakes his paw. 'No, no, I'm not suggesting that you do.'
'What then?'
'It is my suggestion that we exchange you for a woman who likes to clean.'
'Oh,' I hold my hand to my heart. 'Cut me to the quick why don't you?'
'And do you think my skin is impenetrable to your jibes?'
We both pause and think. Eventually I speak.
'Let's agree to disagree and, tell you what: if you don't tell Husband your idea, I won't tell him mine.'
We shake on it.

And I go back to cleaning.


Leslie: said...

This is hilarious, Liz, because ever since I got Tegan, my cleaning has suffered greatly. I vacuum (hoover to you) and it still looks like I didn't - white hair all over the place. And doggie footprints on the hardwood! *Sigh* I wish I could afford George's solution - I'd have her here every day! lol

nick said...

Sorry to inform you that George doesn't really understand the phrase "keeping the house clean". He only understands the words "food", "walk" and "bone".

Rose said...

I've often thought that if I lived alone, my house would be spotless. It would also be lonely and very boring, though.

Ole Phat Stu said...

Now I understand what "dirty dogging" means, or not? ;-)

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Why don't you and George agree on a reliable robot?
I'm still looking for one . If I find it , I'll let you know .