Mug commits suicide

Just before Christmas a note was left on Betty Beetle from a man called Joe who was interested in buying her.

If you recall she had gone to the beetle hospital for treatment but been sent home to ... well, the doctor said it was too late for a cure. Since then she's been sitting outside the house with a flat battery and, more recently, a flat tyre.

Husband phoned Joe today. He said he'd come this afternoon. I asked Husband if he sounded nice because 'I have to like whoever buys her.' Husband said that anyone who was interested in beetles must be nice, that he had a camper van himself and that he wanted to do the car up for his daughter.

'You must tell him that her name's Betty.'

Joe came with a truck to take Betty away on. I said, 'You'll look after her, won't you?'

'I've got a workshop and when we're not working on anything else we'll strip her down and make her good as new.'

After they'd gone I asked Husband if he'd remembered to say her name was Betty. He said, 'I wouldn't have dared faced you if I hadn't.'

And it was just after that that Husband's VW mug committed hari kari by leaping off the table.

At least that's Husband's story.