After George had got me up I lay awake for ages worrying about the Knitted by Nanas post I'd done earlier. Did I make my point clearly? Should I have said more? Or less? Did I actually say what I meant?
Eventually I realised that my real concern was not what I'd said or even not said but what was implied. Which is that homosexuality is a sin.
Is it? I don't know.
Yes, the bible says it is but the bible also says that, in church, women should keep their heads covered and shouldn't speak. We don't pay any heed to that. We explain it away as being culturally relevant to that time and place but not today.
I know homosexuality is a slightly different thing but still ...
There are all sorts of things I don't understand; there are lots of things I'm undecided about. Is abortion always wrong? What about assisted suicide or euthanasia? (Or even simple suicide widely considered by many Christians to be a sin.) I think: I should think this - but I don't. It would probably be easier if I did, if there were a manual that listed clearly this is always right and this is always wrong. Maybe some Christians would argue that we do have a manual in the bible but it's contradictory in places.
Maybe, as usual, if I go back to Jesus I'll find out what's important.
Jesus didn't spend a lot of time telling people what they shouldn't do. As far as I can remember he never said anything about homosexuality. He was more concerned with what we should do: things like love one another.
I have lots of questions for God not just about all these points but the other obvious questions like why floods and earthquakes? Why do some seem to suffer so much? Why did Anne, a young mother of four, have to die?
There are far too many questions for my brain. Big questions, very big questions, that some people seem to have the definitive answer for. I'll never be one of those people.
There are some certainties in my belief. I believe in God, my creator, Jesus, my saviour, and the Spirit, my helper. Other than that, don't push me, okay?
Oh, yes, I meant to mention something I read on Facebook earlier that helped me. Mike Todd posted it but he's actually quoting someone else:
Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”