On his hands and knees

Poor Husband has spent the last three days on his hands and knees.

Step 1

Using expensive Heavy Duty Stone Tile Cleaner and scouring pads, scrub the kitchen floor. Leave to dry.

Step 2

When that doesn't work, go over it again with Cif cream cleanser and a scrubbing brush. Leave to dry.

Step 3

Apply Tile Sealer. Leave to dry.

Step 4

Apply 2nd coat of Tile Sealer. Leave to dry.

Step 5

Apply polish. Leave to dry.

Step 6

Apply 2nd coat of polish. Leave to dry.

Step 7

Pray.

Will it work? Will it, if not stop the floor getting dirty, make it easier to clean? We can only wait and see.

For the time being no-one's allowed to use the back door and George is banned from the kitchen.