Friday, October 29, 2010

I'm performing!

Remember a few weeks ago I said that I'd volunteered to read at what is normally a music event? Well, it happens this coming Sunday evening at Red Cafe in Mumbles.

And I'm trying to decide what to read. So I ask Chris and he suggests Roger McGough. This is:
a) not very encouraging to a writer;
b) not showing a lot of faith in my writing;
c) defeating the object? I'm not a performer; I'm a writer who reads.

I ask Husband and he says, 'What about Pam Ayres?'

What is it with these men?

A few weeks ago I was supposed to be going to a Creativity in Church event but couldn't at the last minute but Chris told me that the speaker had almost reprimanded musicians for not encouraging writers, actors, visual artists and dancers to take part in the worship.

We have a writers' group in Linden and over the years I've tried to encourage people in it to bring writing, if it's appropriate, along to the Sunday morning service to use during the meeting. And I've tried to lead by example.

But each time I have an inner battle and have to convince myself that it's not showing off. Which is very odd. I don't for a minute think the musicians are showing off when they play, sing, do solos or their own thing. It's perfectly normal and acceptable for them to use their talent or gift. So why is it any different for writers?

The answer is that it isn't. It just feels as if it is.

I've always said that I can be assured when I read my writing aloud because my confidence is in my writing not in me. So I should be looking forward to Sunday evening. But right now any faith I had in my writing has dropped to an abysmal low.

And my stomach is in a tight little knot. Not helped by the tension of the day in work. I need to punch something.


BanksyBoy said...

You have to go with what your own writings! Some eminent somebody in the arty world said don't try to please your audience or friends, you'll please them by being true to yourself.

I've just re-read your 'The wood for the trees' and it's the perfect sort of piece ;-) Even if you offend a few Agnostics!

Don't know how long you will have in your 'set' but it's worth having a go at actually learning a short piece off by heart...

There you go, Banksy's tips!!!

Ann Marie said...

I really loved your prayer of the colours, so much so that I copied it so I could keep it. Why not share that? I'm really jealous you get a chance to perform and see a live reaction - which WILL be good. I ask people to read things and they say "It's nice." Drives me mad! Or they never get round to reading it at all.

Liz said...

Okay, BanksyBoy, I'll settle for 'Wood' and learn it. And blame you!

I know what you mean, ann, about people's comments but it is hard to be honest with others! I like that prayer too - hm, perhaps I'll learn that as well. I'm in the hairdressers tomorrow afternoon so I'll have time to go over it in my head.