Yesterday evening I was sitting at the computer when I was struck by the hottest of hot flushes. It only lasted a moment or two but was followed shortly after by another. Then in bed I had the most hideous dreams. I blame it on my hormones having a few final flings before giving up the fight.
And this morning I felt - still feel - eeuwrgh. Alternating between 'You want a fight? Come on if you think you're hard enough,' and 'Aw, I want to curl up in a corner and rock gently to and fro.'
Last time I felt like that I went out and bought a black and white sparkly toilet seat and look where that led. So really I should have thought twice before doing what I did.
It all started off innocently enough. I knew I had lots to do but was indecisively dithering (is there any other way to dither?) so decided I'd start quietly by tidying the kitchen. I took some things from the work surface into the study (not put them away, you understand, just took them in and left them on the desk) and then came across three bottles we'd bought on one of our regular trips to B&Q a few weeks ago. (And they'd been on the work surface ever since.)
You may remember me saying that I'd never have had these floor tiles in the kitchen if I'd known how impossible they were to clean so when I spotted this ridiculously expensive Heavy Duty Tile Cleaner, Tile Sealer and Tile Polisher, I had to have them.
Now the kitchen tiles run into the pantry so the floor in there needs to be empty too before all this tile sealing can happen. 'Husband, can you move these tins of paint etc from the pantry, please?'
'I will do when I've painted the pantry.'
(Last November we had the kitchen done; this little job has been 'on the list' ever since.')
So there I am, with a dodgy mindset, in the kitchen looking at the tile stuff and the pantry. 'Husband, as it's raining, would you like to paint inside the pantry today?'
'Yes, that's a good idea.'
'I'll empty it then, shall I?'
That was 4 hours ago; Husband is just beginning to think about what he needs to do in there. 'I'm not going to be able to paint today of course; I'll have to rub down and prime stuff first.'
It's not that he wasn't doing useful stuff on the computer all morning - 'It's important money stuff' - it's just that he picked the wrong moment to push me closer to the edge.