Monday, June 28, 2010

I was thinking about my funeral ...

and wondering who would go to it and what they'd say.

My thoughts turned to this as I was stapling together a song book for a memorial service tomorrow. Then I thought about what Paul McCartney had said on Saturday. (Did I mention that I went to his concert?!!) It was about John and was basically what people always say: I wish I'd said this when he were alive.

I guess we're all guilty of not appreciating others, or, at least, not telling them how valued they are. But that's too serious so I'll go back to my original point: who would attend my funeral? And would they say nice things? Or would they say, 'She was a right plonker. Harmless but a bit thick.' No, no-one ever says things like that at funerals; it would be nice.

So I hope when I die - which I hope won't be for a very long time - I know about it about a week in advance - nothing too long and lingering - so I can tell everyone and get them to come and say nice things about me to me. Would that be good etiquette?

Would I care? About the etiquette? No. I just want to die happy. I wonder if you could have your funeral before you died.

Husband is going to tell me what a depressing post this is because he hates any conversations or talk about death, but I think it's important that people know that I want them to come and say nice things. even if they aren't true.


Ole Phat Stu said...

"Always go to other people's funerals - then they'll come to yours." --- Nanny Ogg ;-)

Anne in Oxfordshire said...

A very important topic Liz, but also depressing to read. I understand that we all have to talk about it. My husband once told me where he wanted his ashes scattered .. now has changed his mind..!

My sister did her own funeral whichI must admit was lovely (if you can say that about funerals) in a Woodland burial .. and very non church as you could get. Much to my mum's shock, as a strict Catholic.. but she has got over that now.

I did dream about it once, and told my boys .. NO crying, NO black and just lots of champagne .. and no-one to be there if they have not spoken or been in touch with me for years.. regardless who they are .. that includes family.

Lets hope that both you and I have years and years in us ♥

Leslie: said...

I'm sure all the nice things they'll say will be true, Liz! I've told my daughters that I want them to "roast" me...tell about the times I'd embarrass them by singing in the car, not knowing the words, and going "la la la". They used to just DIE and yell at me to stop embarrassing them! LOL

Gledwood said...

Oh Liz!

I want All Things Bright And Beautiful sung at mine (surprise!)

My friend committed suicide 2 weeks ago. I only just found out. Don't tell anyone. I'm trying to write about it in German. The English post will come out tomorrow or Wednesday.

Take care ;-)

Ole Phat Stu said...

if you need help with the German phraseology, mail me.

Ole Phat Stu (who lives in Germany).

P.S: I am an Atheist though...

Furtheron said...

hmm - the old who will come to my funeral thought. That is one I try not to linger on too much these days - it isn't a good place for my head to be.

Today sadly is the funeral of a young (under 30) lad who very sadly took his own life recently. After much debate my wife is going (he used to work with her hence how we know him) but I am not. I don't need funerals or memorials to remember people. I do know one thing the crematorium will be completely jammed packed. Even more sad then that someone that meant obviously a lot to those that will go felt he was in such a desperate position he had to take his own life.

For my part I'm not really bothered who turns up or not to the funeral. I think I'm set on a humanist type service as simply it is a bit hypocritical for me to suddenly go as a Christian, Hindu whatever when I simply don't believe in any of religion.

I have wondered about being "plastasised" and then I could be posed with my arms outstretched or something and my wife can stick my in the hallway as a coat rack - she'd no doubt say that is more use than I ever was in life. Alternatively I like the idea of these ones where you go in a cardboard coffin and are basically composted down in a forest somewhere. I did want one of my guitars on the coffin on the last journey but that seems pretty cheesy doesn't it.

Oh yes - no suits, ties or black either - just come as though we were meeting for a normal day out.

Liz said...

But they'll all be dead, stu!

Definitely an eco-friendly burial, anne, and I'm with you on the no black.

Yes, embarrassing is good, leslie. Just been to the memorial service and just too nice!

It's so sad when people take their own lives, gledwood.

Furtheron, I want my funeral to be jolly with lots of laughs but with honesty too - talk about the things I got wrong! That should keep them going for a while! Although I am going to stipulate that the service must be less than one hour. The one today was 90 minutes and all my friends have short attention spans.

Berni said...

Well just in case I don't get to say it before it is too late "Your blog is always good for a laugh". I hope people remember me for the times I made them laugh.

Liz said...

Thank you, berni! That is exactly what I hope people will remember about me.

Rose said...

If I know a week in advance, I'll definitely be there, Liz:) And should I go first, I hope you'll do the same for me...or at least leave a nice comment about me here:)

Not a depressing post at all; I often think about the same thing. I would love to have the St. Olaf Choir sing "Beautiful Savior" at my funeral, but I think they might need a year's notice to book the time:)

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

As if anyone would be unkind about you !!
Funerals aren't really depressing to read about . Going to them is , though . And an open coffin is too ghastly . I definitely don't want to be gawped at !
I want a cardboard coffin ,
"Flowers Of The Forest" on the bagpipes and cremation . All at record speed so people can relax afterwards and catch up on family news .

katney said...

I always say I want both mariachis and bagpipers at my funeral. (I am neither Mexican nor Scottish, but I have a lot of Mexican friends and my husband is of Scottish decent.) But I won't notice if they just stick me in a box and lower me unceremoniously. So they can probably just save themoney for something else.

Damon Marsh said...

I think there’s nothing wrong with discussing one's preparation for death. It is something that’s inevitable, so it will be helpful if you plan ahead of time. It might sound depressing, but at least your loved ones will know what to do when the time comes to say goodbye to you for the last time.

Damon Marsh @ Inland Memorial, Inc.