Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Lenten thanks 1

You may have noticed that the only times Husband appears on this blog is when he's said or done something, usually unromantic, he really shouldn't have and you may wonder how our marriage has survived so long - 32 years this summer.

Or maybe you realise the reason I can write these things - and, yes, he does read this blog - is because we have a strong and loving relationship. He's my safety net, the one I can run home to, the one who loves me for, not in spite of, my 'extra-cuddly' bits.

Many years ago Daughter and I wrote a collection of books - okay, collection is a bit grand for four titles. Two we wrote together and two individually. Our individual books were called Dear God and Dear Daddy (now out of print - I say that because I know you'll want to run out and buy them!) and consisted of letters to God each with a preamble about what led up to the circumstance that precipitated that particular one.

The last letter in my collection was entitled True Love, and it still stands, so I'm using the preamble today and the letter tomorrow to demonstrate things for which I am grateful.

We disagree about most things.

For a start he doesn’t share my faith. He leans to the right; I have leftish tendencies. I can be moved to tears by something I see; he says it’s their own fault. He’s English; I’m Welsh. I love reading; he hates books. He loves a glass of malt whiskey; I have to go to the other side of the room because I can’t bear the smell. He can tell you what model of car it is from a quick glimpse of its bumper; I'll notice that it's blue. He’s bossy; I’m put upon. He’s organised; I’m untidy. I’m easily distracted; he’s single-minded. He likes Terminator; I like Sense and Sensibility. He cleans his shoes; I can’t remember what colour mine are.

And yet we love each other. I love the way that when we’re watching the news and the reporter says something happened at Prestatyn, he’ll say ‘Press what in?’, and I love the way we both associate the same songs with events or things that happened. And sometimes I’ll say something knowing what his response will be, and if he doesn’t say it straightaway I look at him enquiringly, and he’ll realise what I’m waiting for and he’ll say it. I love it when we both say we’re dieting and then we devour a large bar of chocolate watching a video. I love it when he has a very busy day at work and I phone him and say ‘meet me for lunch?’ and he doesn't hesitate to say ‘OK’.

I love someone who’s bossy and grumpy and he loves someone who’s disorganised and selfish. Love is strange.

True love is about knowing someone really well. It’s about knowing his little habits and loving him for them. It’s about knowing his faults and loving him in spite of them.

True love can be expressed in a word, a touch, a look, a kiss or death on a cross.


Furtheron said...

Excellent piece of writing.

Unbeliveable it is our silver wedding anniversary in July. We are now very much at that stage that a look, a raised eyebrow, a smile, a frown, a small nod etc. convey so much in depth meaning and knowledge

We know how to laugh with each other, how to cry together etc.

We're not unlike you... she knows nothing about music and guitars and puts up with all that from me, she is the one that does all the lists we needed, she doesn't want me to explain where the life insurance policies are as she doesn't want to even think of anything like that but I insist on going through it all from time to time etc. etc.

She hasn't the faintest clue about rugby - I took her to Twickenham though a couple of years ago and she enjoyed it, even if she had no idea about the game... other than I shout a lot when England are playing :-) She likes Eastenders - I can't stand it... she reads books I'd never read and I likewise point out the graphic murders in mine and she winces...

Love... funny thing isn't it?

Again!!! Word veri is differni - how odd!

Liz said...

You should put this on your blog too!

See what I mean about word verifiers?!

Leslie: said...

This could be ME writing this, with just a few adjustments. But you are so right - who'da thunk it that 40+ years after meeting each other, we are together again! Some people don't understand our "connection" but as you say, Love is strange.

Lia said...

What a lovely piece of writing and what a wonderful love story.
Love is indeed strange, I would never have believed that the best part of my life and the greatest of loves would be with a man 20 yrs younger than me.
Love doesn't play by the rules and I am so grateful for that.
Much love

Anne in Oxfordshire said...

..I have been with my husband (my second) since 1991 married 1993 ... and it is in the last few years that our differences are starting to come out.. and it is tough! I think we have both changed so much.

Love is very strange!!

nick said...

That's beautiful, a wonderful summary of what love is all about and how two apparently totally incompatible human beings can have a cosy and fulfilling relationship.

Liz said...

And what a lovely story you have, leslie!

A toy boy, lia?!! Who cares for rules?

Love is about battling through and struggling sometimes, anne.

Thank you, nick.