Late getting ready, I was hurrying to set off for the prison when the granite man arrived. He looked at the kitchen and did a 'we have a problem' sigh. 'We have a problem here,' he said. 'You don't have a cooker.'
'I can't make templates without the cooker.'
'That means I won't have worktops or, more importantly, a sink until mid-December. Couldn't you just do two sides?'
He took a sharp intake of breath. 'Jobsworth,' he said. 'I'll have to ask the boss.'
He disappeared off to phone his boss. When he came back in he said, 'Well, as it's Christmas ...'
By the time I got to the prison for carol service rehearsals I was half an hour late. But that was a minor problem compared to the 'casting' dilemma. (Did I mention that one of my star performers from last year has been transferred to another prison leaving me with just the one star?) There are about 380 inmates in the prison; how hard can it be to find one other man? Very, apparently. With about 3 weeks to go and limited times when I can go in I should be panicking by now. But I have a beautiful grand-daughter so I don't care!
As I was driving home thinking, 'what day is it? who am I?' I noticed the driver's door of the car in front opening. 'Oh, please don't do anything stupid! My reflexes are roughly negligible right now.' Fortunately he must have just been re-closing it.
I got home to be told we didn't have handles for our doors, instead of the two glass doors we'd ordered for top cupboards they'd sent glass doors for bottom cupboards, and we had the wrong sink.
It was dark by now so I took George down to the beach for a quick walk. As we got there the heavens opened. I don't know if he genuinely couldn't see me clearly or whether he was doing it deliberately but George came pelting down the beach and crashed into me three times. Then I saw a torch flashing in the bushes. Now this is the bit of beach by a rather notorious car park and it was also just about the place where a naked man had strolled out at me once. Enough is enough. I called George, 'Come on, butt, come and protect me.'
And then I got home and I sat at the computer and up on the screen came a photo of Elin Grace.
And the world is perfect.
Just like her chubby cheeks, cute nose, pouty mouth, soft skin, baby scent, biteable bottom, kissable toes, adorable fingers - (I can't comment on her eyes as she hardly opened them while I was there!) - but you get the picture.
All's well with the world.