Thursday, July 23, 2009

Opanti - the ancient art of knicker arranging

I believe I have perfected the art of surreptitiously pulling up my knickers while walking without missing a beat.

Of course someone walking behind me may be thinking, 'Look at that woman pulling up her knickers!' But I am confident of my subtlety.

I suppose the answer is to wear knickers that don't fall down but I seem to be in-between sizes so they're either a little tight or a little loose, and, with those choices, I'll go for comfort every time. Alternatively I could opt for hand-made-to-measure silken drawers. Mmm, I can just feel the silk sensually slipping over my skin. Who couldn't feel wonderful wearing those?

But I can't afford that so I guess it's back to M&S for 3 for £5.

Do I have a knicker obsession, do you think? I am aware that the topic crops up quite a lot in this blog. But I'm a woman and the things that are important to women are family, dog, bra and knickers. And c*******e of course but I'm not mentioning that as I'm on a diet. Or as Husband calls it, a lifestyle change. Ptath. (I don't know how to spell the noise that is rather like an expanded raspberry.)

I might be a woman but I felt decidedly lacking in the feminine graces while walking in the woods in the rain today. I encountered the transvestite who works in a shop in town and is normally to be found wearing hot-pants. Even in the torrential rain he managed to look charming in full make-up while I'd only just remembered to wash my face before going out. 'Tis a lesson to us all.

7 comments:

Suburbia said...

I loved reading this, I could just picture you surupticiously hoisting.

Pants are indeed an important part of a girls day!

nick said...

If the transvestite looked effortlessly charming, presumably you didn't catch him surreptitiously pulling up his knickers....

Siani said...

Three pairs of knickers for a fiver? You're rich! I usually go for the five pairs for £2.50 from George at Asda.

jmb said...

It's my pantyhose which are always going south. So I wear knickers then pantyhose then more knickers. But this is only if I wear a skirt, so I don't very often as you can imagine.

Leslie: said...

I think the spelling might be like this: pfffffttt

MissKris said...

When I lost something like 80 pounds back in 1980 I was constantly rearranging my knickers, too! Thank goodness I didn't lose them in public but one time I was walking the kids to school and a half-slip I was wearing slithered right off. To my kids' absolute mortification!!! Me, I just stepped out of it, picked it up, stuffed it in my pocket, and didn't miss a step, ha!

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