If you go down to the woods today

I'm never frightened in the woods but I had the creeps for five minutes today. It was the rustling in the bushes making me spin round every two minutes to see if a bear was following me that did it. I don't know why I worried: George would have protected me.

As long as he wasn't distracted with treats.

Walking back along the river yesterday we met a couple and a spaniel. The man asked me if it were very muddy further along. 'Not at all, 'I replied. 'It's fine.'

I walked a bit further then glanced back and noticed they were both wearing open-toed sandals.

Now not at all muddy and very muddy are comparatives, subjectives even. If you're used to sinking to your ankles in mud or getting water over the top of your wellies then it wasn't at all muddy ...

I saw the man again today. He was wearing sensible shoes.