The eroticisation of chavs

My problem - one of them - is that I do things by halves. I half-listen, half-read, half-pay attention. So I never get the full story. But that doesn't stop me passing bits on.

I was spreading my sultana bread with Lite Flora and thinking, 'Oh, the texture just isn't right,' when i half-remembered the article I'd half-read in the Big Issue about trans fats. They're in lots of processed foods and they're not good for you. (People who read intelligent newspapers could probably tell you more.) I'm going to stop buying it.

Then I remembered the story I'd caught half of when I switched on the radio yesterday afternoon. Apparently student and gay night clubs are holding 'Meet a chav*' nights. The intellectuals were calling it the eroticisation of chavs and comparing it with the appeal of Lady Chatterley's lover - a bit of rough. Common working men have better bodies and are better at sex. Allegedly. You just have to get past the shell suit, the bling**, the beer belly and the Stella.

*Chav (n) (slang) - a young person, often without a high level of education, who follows a particular fashion; Chavs usually wear designer labels including the chav favourite 'Burberry', and if they’re girls, very short skirts, large hoop earrings and stilettos. They wear huge fake gold jewellery**, say 'innit' and their thongs are visible over the top of trousers.

Find out your chav rating here.