Last week George and I saw a tree with a face. I looked on Saturday when we walked with Husband but couldn't find it and failed again today. The trouble is that we take lots of different paths and I can't remember which one we were on when we saw it. So you'll have to take my word for it that there was a tree with a face - until I find it again and can take a photo. Cos we won't give up, will we George? No, we won't.
When Harvey was little I didn't venture too far into the woods but as he grew we began to explore and now, even though George is little, we wander all over the place. So this afternoon I thought perhaps I should practise my self-defence skills. (You might not be aware of this but I am an expert in the ancient art of Ar Gkcho.)
It's probably simplest if I illustrate my actions for you. Here you see me and George walking through the woods.
A would-be-assailant (wba) leaps out from behind a tree. (He is possibly singing Marmee but that's not very likely.) With my finely-tuned senses I am instantly alert and leap into action. 
Raising my arms in front of me, I leap threateningly towards wba while screaming Ar Gkcho in a fiercesome voice. I then take up the pose of attack - you see it's a strictly non-contact defence. At which point, my wba runs away screaming.
Raising my arms in front of me, I leap threateningly towards wba while screaming Ar Gkcho in a fiercesome voice. I then take up the pose of attack - you see it's a strictly non-contact defence. At which point, my wba runs away screaming. I don't go along with Husband's view that any wba would fall down laughing at this point. Husband has not seen me when my full power is unleashed. George jumped when I was practising.
It's true though that I need to brush up on some of my moves. The Ar Garchow for instance. This is very similar to the Ar Gkcho but the left leg is kicked higher towards the groin area. I really need to improve my technique on this as I am not convinced that landing on my bottom would look very professional - or scary.
My Eiiee Chpi however is pretty slick, even though I say it myself. This involves bringing both arms to shoulder-height and rapidly launching them forwards, pointy finger pointed, and heading for the wba's eyes, while screaming Eiiee Chpi (you see how well-named each move is?) This combined with the Ar Garchow never fails to render a wba uselss, or so I'm told by my instructor, who claims to have taught John Travolta all he knows.
6 comments:
I find that looking intimidating tends to dissuade attacks more effectively. I could send you a sporting jacket from the NRA ... Woman Sharpshooter of the Year ... :D
This I've gotta see! lol
rofl!! Oh sorry, should I run away? ;0)
mdm, looking intimidating probably works if you're a big hairy man but not if you're female (even big and hairy).
Really, Leslie and Amanda, I expected support from you!:)
"who claims to have taught John Travolta all he knows."
Couldn't have taken very long then
Maybe Ents are real after all and your tree has moved on to another wood?
You seem to have lost an awful lot of weight in your Ar Gkcho illustration photos
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