What does fly poo look like?

Last night there were two flies in the bathroom when I went to bed. Not wanting them to dive-buzz me in the middle of the night, I shut the door on them.

Now behind the door, next to the heated towel-rail I had hung some jumpers to finish airing. This morning I found some little tiny greyey-black piles on one of my jumpers. They definitely weren't there before so the only thing I can assume is that the flies took their revenge on me for locking them in.

But I had the final laugh. I taught them not to argue with the fastest towel in the west of Pontypool. And just to make sure they were dead, I drowned them in the toilet.

The interesting thing is that the poo - if that is what it was - was only on the dark red jumper, with nothing on the pale turquoise, suggesting that flies a) are colour-blind; b) prefer red. I wonder if I could get a research grant to study this further. It could prove vitally important. For instance, if i could show that they hate all shades of blue/green, farmers could be encouraged to produce appropriately-coloured fly-deterring meat. Then in a restaurant, you'd be asked, 'Would you like your steak aquamarine or azure?'

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How is it possible for me to go into a shop for two cards and come out without the cards but having spent £32?

To be fair, that does include a citronella candle. On her blog, Welshcakes says she has been told that citronella helps stop dogs barking, so when I just happened to see such a candle today, it seemed like fate, or too good an opportunity to miss. (Regular readers will be aware that, with increasing senility, Harvey barks pointlessly for long periods of the day.)

I also bought a coconut grove candle because the smell reminds me of summer. As a foolish youth, as a sun-tan lotion or rather a frying fat, I used melted coconut oil. How simple life was in those days. It's also the smell of the gorse when it's out in full bloom, in the warm sunshine.