A little light relief

I was getting ready to go out at lunchtime when I picked up my handbag and it began talking to me. 'The time is 12:39. The time is 12:39. The time is 12:39.'

I put the bag to my ear. Yes, the voice was definitely coming from it. 'The time is 12:39.'

I went downstairs ... 'The time is 12:39' ... into the garden where Husband was digging. 'The time is 12:39.' "Listen to this!" I held it out so he could hear it clearly. 'The time is 12:39.'

"My bag is talking to me!"

"It's probably your phone."

'The time is 12:39.'

"Why would my phone start telling me what the time is?"

"You probably set a reminder."

"Last week I had to ask someone how to make a phone call. Set a reminder? I don't think so."

It stopped before I had to work out how to turn it off.

Life is too intimidating without phones that talk to you.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Over on Serena's blog her posts include a section of twisted linguistics/words gone wild, where she defines misspelt or mistyped words she comes across.

In the supermarket today I spotted this sign. Although it isn't misspelled, it sets the brain a'wandering. (Okay, it set my brain a'wandering. Weekly shopping gets boring; you need some sort of distraction.)

Kitten Claws and James Bondage are vying with each other to succeed Madeline Prufrock when she finally retires as CEO of her worldwide sex empire.

Kitten, weaving her cat-like spells, has won over all the board-members save one. He happens to be James's father - although that fact is known only to him and Madeline. Perhaps more importantly James has the backing - he believes - of Madeline herself.

However, their worlds are about to be turned upside down by the arrival of a mysterious stranger who threatens the very heart of the empire itself ... to be continued

xxx